Its good advice for a hike. A hike is a much simpler proposition; the problems have been solved and will remain solved. In this case reductive advice can cut to the heart of things and provide value without losing much from neglecting the nuance.
The problem in applying it to children is that they are very complex to start with and are anti inductive (and only get more so as they grow older). losing the nuance bites.
If you’re going to give advice and want it to be helpful, it has be lower level. For example,
“Water sterile enough to mix up into baby formula can be made by boiling a jug and letting it cool. The water will be good for a few hours, but once mixed with formula, use within about half an hour or discard.”
Or a lens / mental model / way of looking at things
“Tantrum: kid using bad behaviour to get what they want. Hold the line.
Meltdown: kid overwhelmed (tired, hungry, sick, overstimulated). Reduce the load.
Hard to tell apart in the moment, tantrums can transition to meltdowns but not the other way. Try the gentle response first, if they escalate or you can see them working you, switch to holding the line.”
Honestly taken as a lens your advice is fine, “Enjoy your children, they can be fun” is all g. Its just problematic when you try to enthrone it as your main guiding principle or give it as a glib response to genuine issues.
the advice is the same i would give a friend who didn’t like hiking, but was, say, courting a partner who did.
“to my read, [your complaints about hiking] seem downstream of this: the hike is a problem to be solved, not a journey to enjoy.”
Its good advice for a hike. A hike is a much simpler proposition; the problems have been solved and will remain solved. In this case reductive advice can cut to the heart of things and provide value without losing much from neglecting the nuance.
The problem in applying it to children is that they are very complex to start with and are anti inductive (and only get more so as they grow older). losing the nuance bites.
If you’re going to give advice and want it to be helpful, it has be lower level. For example,
“Water sterile enough to mix up into baby formula can be made by boiling a jug and letting it cool. The water will be good for a few hours, but once mixed with formula, use within about half an hour or discard.”
Or a lens / mental model / way of looking at things
“Tantrum: kid using bad behaviour to get what they want. Hold the line.
Meltdown: kid overwhelmed (tired, hungry, sick, overstimulated). Reduce the load.
Hard to tell apart in the moment, tantrums can transition to meltdowns but not the other way. Try the gentle response first, if they escalate or you can see them working you, switch to holding the line.”
Honestly taken as a lens your advice is fine, “Enjoy your children, they can be fun” is all g. Its just problematic when you try to enthrone it as your main guiding principle or give it as a glib response to genuine issues.