(But also, I think it’s healthy to develop relationships with specific people who can give you “unsolicited” feedback/observations. True they’re going to be less nuanced and maybe off-base, but too much value could be lost without being open to these, we’re frequently too blind to our own behavior)
I think this http://lesswrong.com/lw/9v/beware_of_otheroptimizing/ is a large part of it, you need the other person to be part of the process to avoid the failure mode.
(But also, I think it’s healthy to develop relationships with specific people who can give you “unsolicited” feedback/observations. True they’re going to be less nuanced and maybe off-base, but too much value could be lost without being open to these, we’re frequently too blind to our own behavior)