This is a good post about how to become a more reliable person. I often find it incredibly frustrating when people flake on me, and I really know very few people who don’t consistently flake on plans.
I think this is good advice for people who want to become more reliable. However, I often suspect that the people who consistently flake don’t want to be more reliable. My suspicion is that people wish to signal behavior by *saying* they’re going to do something without actually doing it. Much like a politician making campaign promises, there are social rewards for indicating interest in activities, and you don’t necessarily lose those all of those rewards by failing to show up. I often feel like I’m just being told what I want to hear. So really, if we are to become more reliable, we may need to become more honest.
This seems true, but I suspect that advocating for people to be more accurate predictors (instead of “show up on time”), would make feel more reasonable (to both parties) to hold people to a higher standard.
This is a good post about how to become a more reliable person. I often find it incredibly frustrating when people flake on me, and I really know very few people who don’t consistently flake on plans.
I think this is good advice for people who want to become more reliable. However, I often suspect that the people who consistently flake don’t want to be more reliable. My suspicion is that people wish to signal behavior by *saying* they’re going to do something without actually doing it. Much like a politician making campaign promises, there are social rewards for indicating interest in activities, and you don’t necessarily lose those all of those rewards by failing to show up. I often feel like I’m just being told what I want to hear. So really, if we are to become more reliable, we may need to become more honest.
This seems true, but I suspect that advocating for people to be more accurate predictors (instead of “show up on time”), would make feel more reasonable (to both parties) to hold people to a higher standard.