I wasn’t saying any and all critiques are harmful—the specific thing I was saying was “these are three things I see you doing right now, and I don’t think you can do all of those within a short timespan.”
Independently, I also think some-but-not-all of the specific critiques you are making are harmful, but that wasn’t the point I was making at the time.
The reason I’d much prefer to have the conversation in person is because by now the entire conversation is emotionally charged (at least for me, and it looks like for you), in a way that is counterproductive. Speaking only for myself, I know that in an in person conversation where I can read facial expressions, I can a) more easily maintain empathy throughout the process, b) as soon as I hit a point where either we disagree, or where the conversation is getting heated, it’s a lot easier to see that, step back and say “okay let’s stop drop and doublecrux.” (And, hopefully, often realize that something was a simple misunderstanding rather than a disagreement)
Online, there are two options at any interval: write out a short point, or write out a long point. If I write out a short point, it won’t actually address all the things I’m trying to point at. If I write a long point, at least one thing will probably be disagreed with or misunderstood, which will derail the whole post.
A) I think this is probably a good thing to do when an online conversation is accumulating drama and controversy.
B) Even if it’s not, I very much want to test it out and find out if it works.
I wasn’t saying any and all critiques are harmful—the specific thing I was saying was “these are three things I see you doing right now, and I don’t think you can do all of those within a short timespan.”
Independently, I also think some-but-not-all of the specific critiques you are making are harmful, but that wasn’t the point I was making at the time.
The reason I’d much prefer to have the conversation in person is because by now the entire conversation is emotionally charged (at least for me, and it looks like for you), in a way that is counterproductive. Speaking only for myself, I know that in an in person conversation where I can read facial expressions, I can a) more easily maintain empathy throughout the process, b) as soon as I hit a point where either we disagree, or where the conversation is getting heated, it’s a lot easier to see that, step back and say “okay let’s stop drop and doublecrux.” (And, hopefully, often realize that something was a simple misunderstanding rather than a disagreement)
Online, there are two options at any interval: write out a short point, or write out a long point. If I write out a short point, it won’t actually address all the things I’m trying to point at. If I write a long point, at least one thing will probably be disagreed with or misunderstood, which will derail the whole post.
A) I think this is probably a good thing to do when an online conversation is accumulating drama and controversy.
B) Even if it’s not, I very much want to test it out and find out if it works.