The argument usually goes in reverse: since you’d care about your own child, surely you should care equally about this child in Africa who’s just as human. It’s presented as a reason to care more for the distant child, not care less for your own child. But it still implies that you should care equally about them, not care more about your own.
I don’t think any of the EA people wouldn’t care more about their own child. To me that seems like a strawman.
The argument usually goes in reverse: since you’d care about your own child, surely you should care equally about this child in Africa who’s just as human. It’s presented as a reason to care more for the distant child, not care less for your own child. But it still implies that you should care equally about them, not care more about your own.
I don’t know any EA who says that they have an utility function that treats every child 100% equally.