Just happen to see your comment while responding to another one, and I have thoughts on this as another person who has meditated a lot, died the great death, and knows this self is not separate from others.
First, notice if it’s something that calls to you. Enlightenment is not something you attain, it’s something you do, and it will radically transform your life while also making you completely normal. Although not everyone takes the same path, most people who wake up come to it because they couldn’t stay away no matter how hard they tried.
In terms of what you should do, I highly recommend practicing as part of an organized community. Thus have I heard that spiritual friendship is the whole of the path. Picking one can be a bit tricky. I recommend visiting a few and pay attention for a feeling of coming home. If you don’t feel at home, keep looking. Don’t try to force it. You’ll know it when you feel it.
You’re also looking for a teacher who can be your mentor in all this. You should respect them, and also feel like you can learn from them. Be careful of overly charismatic teachers, as they have the highest risk of abusing their position.
Also avoid teachers who offer quick solutions, because awakening rapidly without integration can lead to major psychological problems. Also avoid any teacher who doesn’t emphasize moral training, as it’s a necessary to keep you grounded as you shed the complex belief machinery of the separate self. Also avoid obvious cults, but know that if you’re not familiar with religion, your cult detection might be too sensitive.
I am not sure exactly what you mean here. From what I am reading, it is very difficult to know what it is without having experienced it. So how am I supposed to know? Do you have examples of motivations that would not be right?
(I would say that I personally feel very curious as to what it looks like, and that I would be significantly sad to learn that I can’t even try to get there.)
I highly recommend practicing as part of an organized community. […] You’re also looking for a teacher who can be your mentor in all this.
I expected that. Then:
What are the standard keywords I should look for? What I mean is that I know quite nothing about the surrounding culture. Would I be looking for a “Buddhist church”? A “Zen temple”? — Are those the same? — A “meditation school”? Something else entirely?
What if there is no such community in my city? Is there a next best thing that still permits me to start that journey, or is your advice to not try that without a local community?
I am not sure exactly what you mean here. From what I am reading, it is very difficult to know what it is without having experienced it. So how am I supposed to know? Do you have examples of motivations that would not be right?
You can’t know for sure. All I mean is that if it’s something that seems appealing to you. Something that, when you read about it, intrigues you. Something that you find hard to ignore. If you have no interest, you’ll likely lack the sustained motivation it takes to see it through, and as is often said, better not to begin, once begun, better to finish. That said, once properly begun (viz. you achieve stream entry), you’ll have the motivation whether you like it or not!
If you are completely content with your life as it is, just forget about all this awakening stuff and go enjoy your life. But if you find that you are discontent, even if it’s just in the quiet moments when everything is otherwise peaceful, then you may find something in practice.
1. What are the standard keywords I should look for? What I mean is that I know quite nothing about the surrounding culture. Would I be looking for a “Buddhist church”? A “Zen temple”? — Are those the same? — A “meditation school”? Something else entirely?
Depends on what lineage would work best for you. I can’t tell you the answer to that; you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.
Zen is the most widespread in the West of the traditions that might actually help you wake up. It also doesn’t require you to believe any supernatural stuff, though you will find traces of the supernatural in Zen, even if just as metaphors. Nothing in Zen requires a belief in the supernatural; it is an entirely naturalistic practice. You can find Zen sanghas by searching for “zen center”.
There’s a growing number of western Theravada groups in the last couple decades. These tend to tolerate a bit more woo and are sometimes mixed in with other practices like yoga. I don’t know a lot about them, but I know they’re out there. Probably can be found if you just search for “meditation” on the map.
There are also Vajrayana groups. These will have the most supernatural stuff and are also the hardest to become part of. Again, I don’t know a lot here, but I know they exist.
What you want to avoid are temples, churches, and missions. These are either from traditions that focus more on devotional practices and don’t emphasize awakening (or deny that it is even possible for humans) or are serving the religious needs of immigrant communities. If you go somewhere and the primary thing they do isn’t silent meditation, you’re definitely in the wrong place.
2. What if there is no such community in my city? Is there a next best thing that still permits me to start that journey, or is your advice to not try that without a local community?
There are groups online. Some of them are physical centers with an online presence. Others are online-only. I think there’s nothing wrong with these and it’s reasonable that you might live so far from a group that these are your only option, but even small towns have groups, and it’s rare to live more than an hours drive from some group in the Western world unless you are in a truly remote location.
There’s something special that happens when people meditate together, though. I’m not sure of the exact mechanism, but it’s probably some kind of sympathetic nervous system thing, and almost everyone meditates better and deeper when they are physically surrounded by other people doing the same thing.
So go ahead and try if there’s really not local community, but you still should be finding a community (and a teacher) to join.
What you want to avoid are temples, churches, and missions.
Note: The Zen practice center I go to is officially listed on Google Maps as a “temple” even though it’s not really a temple (the way Gordon is using the word “temple”).
Thank you! This is an annoying thing about how things are named. Many groups choose to call themselves “centers” because people are put off by religious words, but others don’t, and there’s no clear standardization of terms for what it is that you want because in the West we’ve created a category of thing that didn’t exist before: a place where lay people engage in what were traditionally monastic practices. So a “center” is not a monastery, and it’s not a temple, but it’s also not exactly not either of those things, either.
Realistically, you’re probably just going to have to go and see how it is.
Just happen to see your comment while responding to another one, and I have thoughts on this as another person who has meditated a lot, died the great death, and knows this self is not separate from others.
First, notice if it’s something that calls to you. Enlightenment is not something you attain, it’s something you do, and it will radically transform your life while also making you completely normal. Although not everyone takes the same path, most people who wake up come to it because they couldn’t stay away no matter how hard they tried.
In terms of what you should do, I highly recommend practicing as part of an organized community. Thus have I heard that spiritual friendship is the whole of the path. Picking one can be a bit tricky. I recommend visiting a few and pay attention for a feeling of coming home. If you don’t feel at home, keep looking. Don’t try to force it. You’ll know it when you feel it.
You’re also looking for a teacher who can be your mentor in all this. You should respect them, and also feel like you can learn from them. Be careful of overly charismatic teachers, as they have the highest risk of abusing their position.
Also avoid teachers who offer quick solutions, because awakening rapidly without integration can lead to major psychological problems. Also avoid any teacher who doesn’t emphasize moral training, as it’s a necessary to keep you grounded as you shed the complex belief machinery of the separate self. Also avoid obvious cults, but know that if you’re not familiar with religion, your cult detection might be too sensitive.
This is good advice, especially “pay attention for a feeling of coming home”.
I’m tempted to recommend books too, but all of them come with tradeoffs.
If you had time for writing a bit about the pros and cons of a few books, I would be very interested.
This is a good idea for a separate post.
Thank you for this detailed answer.
Some more questions:
I am not sure exactly what you mean here. From what I am reading, it is very difficult to know what it is without having experienced it. So how am I supposed to know? Do you have examples of motivations that would not be right?
(I would say that I personally feel very curious as to what it looks like, and that I would be significantly sad to learn that I can’t even try to get there.)
I expected that. Then:
What are the standard keywords I should look for? What I mean is that I know quite nothing about the surrounding culture. Would I be looking for a “Buddhist church”? A “Zen temple”? — Are those the same? — A “meditation school”? Something else entirely?
What if there is no such community in my city? Is there a next best thing that still permits me to start that journey, or is your advice to not try that without a local community?
You can’t know for sure. All I mean is that if it’s something that seems appealing to you. Something that, when you read about it, intrigues you. Something that you find hard to ignore. If you have no interest, you’ll likely lack the sustained motivation it takes to see it through, and as is often said, better not to begin, once begun, better to finish. That said, once properly begun (viz. you achieve stream entry), you’ll have the motivation whether you like it or not!
If you are completely content with your life as it is, just forget about all this awakening stuff and go enjoy your life. But if you find that you are discontent, even if it’s just in the quiet moments when everything is otherwise peaceful, then you may find something in practice.
Depends on what lineage would work best for you. I can’t tell you the answer to that; you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.
Zen is the most widespread in the West of the traditions that might actually help you wake up. It also doesn’t require you to believe any supernatural stuff, though you will find traces of the supernatural in Zen, even if just as metaphors. Nothing in Zen requires a belief in the supernatural; it is an entirely naturalistic practice. You can find Zen sanghas by searching for “zen center”.
There’s a growing number of western Theravada groups in the last couple decades. These tend to tolerate a bit more woo and are sometimes mixed in with other practices like yoga. I don’t know a lot about them, but I know they’re out there. Probably can be found if you just search for “meditation” on the map.
There are also Vajrayana groups. These will have the most supernatural stuff and are also the hardest to become part of. Again, I don’t know a lot here, but I know they exist.
What you want to avoid are temples, churches, and missions. These are either from traditions that focus more on devotional practices and don’t emphasize awakening (or deny that it is even possible for humans) or are serving the religious needs of immigrant communities. If you go somewhere and the primary thing they do isn’t silent meditation, you’re definitely in the wrong place.
There are groups online. Some of them are physical centers with an online presence. Others are online-only. I think there’s nothing wrong with these and it’s reasonable that you might live so far from a group that these are your only option, but even small towns have groups, and it’s rare to live more than an hours drive from some group in the Western world unless you are in a truly remote location.
There’s something special that happens when people meditate together, though. I’m not sure of the exact mechanism, but it’s probably some kind of sympathetic nervous system thing, and almost everyone meditates better and deeper when they are physically surrounded by other people doing the same thing.
So go ahead and try if there’s really not local community, but you still should be finding a community (and a teacher) to join.
Note: The Zen practice center I go to is officially listed on Google Maps as a “temple” even though it’s not really a temple (the way Gordon is using the word “temple”).
Thank you! This is an annoying thing about how things are named. Many groups choose to call themselves “centers” because people are put off by religious words, but others don’t, and there’s no clear standardization of terms for what it is that you want because in the West we’ve created a category of thing that didn’t exist before: a place where lay people engage in what were traditionally monastic practices. So a “center” is not a monastery, and it’s not a temple, but it’s also not exactly not either of those things, either.
Realistically, you’re probably just going to have to go and see how it is.