I think the point was that trying too hard is a sign of low status, where “too hard” is relative to the benefit that could be obtained by a favorable impression, or relative to the impress-ee’s perception of their own status.
In my observation “too hard” is usually used to describe people signalling in an insufficiently sophisticated manner.
Hm. In the pickup-artist literature, the concept of trying too hard or “supplicating” is described as “offering value” (e.g. offering to buy a drink, inviting someone out, etc.) before the other person has established they have comparable value (e.g. before they’ve shown they’re an interesting conversationalist, a cool person, or something else that would make them worthy of the offered value.)
In other words, they stress that relationships are built on roughly-equal trades of tangible or intangible value, and that offering too much value relative to the exchange so far creates suspicion—i.e., “trying too hard”.
Is this the type of “trying too hard” you’re talking about, or something else?
In my observation “too hard” is usually used to describe people signalling in an insufficiently sophisticated manner.
Hm. In the pickup-artist literature, the concept of trying too hard or “supplicating” is described as “offering value” (e.g. offering to buy a drink, inviting someone out, etc.) before the other person has established they have comparable value (e.g. before they’ve shown they’re an interesting conversationalist, a cool person, or something else that would make them worthy of the offered value.)
In other words, they stress that relationships are built on roughly-equal trades of tangible or intangible value, and that offering too much value relative to the exchange so far creates suspicion—i.e., “trying too hard”.
Is this the type of “trying too hard” you’re talking about, or something else?