I have definitely seen guys go for elusive women. Sometimes—just as it is with women—you don’t go with what they say, but with the pattern of behavior. And sometimes the pattern is that they chase the unattainable and unavailable. Or women who seem “classy,” hard to win and hard to impress. But it may not be as common as a male pattern.
Nah. Imagine that some women are exceptionally attractive to men for some arbitrary reason, but you cannot see this reason because you’re not a man. Then these women will start behaving more “elusively” out of necessity, thus prompting you to see the nonexistent causal pattern of men chasing elusive women. From my experience, women don’t accurately assess the attractiveness of other women (they fixate too much on clothing, accessories, “style” etc. instead of qualities that matter to men), so my theory should make you a little paranoid from now on :-)
Then these women will start behaving more “elusively” out of necessity, thus prompting you to see the nonexistent causal pattern of men chasing elusive women.
Then wouldn’t elusive behavior become a status signal of sorts? “Oh, person X is being elusive; there must be something there I’m not seeing!”
From my experience, women don’t accurately assess the attractiveness of other women (they fixate too much on clothing, accessories, “style” etc. instead of qualities that matter to men)
Then wouldn’t elusive behavior become a status signal of sorts? “Oh, person X is being elusive; there must be something there I’m not seeing!”
I doubt it would work on men. We can assess female attractiveness directly in like 2 seconds, no need for signals and definitely not enough time to notice elusive behavior.
I have definitely seen guys go for elusive women. Sometimes—just as it is with women—you don’t go with what they say, but with the pattern of behavior.
And this, my friend, is the “part of ‘No!’” that men “don’t understand”.
Again, it may seem clever to use explicit rejections and then expect men to “just know” that it’s fake by your “behavior” … but that creates a really rotten incentive structure.
I have definitely seen guys go for elusive women. Sometimes—just as it is with women—you don’t go with what they say, but with the pattern of behavior. And sometimes the pattern is that they chase the unattainable and unavailable. Or women who seem “classy,” hard to win and hard to impress. But it may not be as common as a male pattern.
Nah. Imagine that some women are exceptionally attractive to men for some arbitrary reason, but you cannot see this reason because you’re not a man. Then these women will start behaving more “elusively” out of necessity, thus prompting you to see the nonexistent causal pattern of men chasing elusive women. From my experience, women don’t accurately assess the attractiveness of other women (they fixate too much on clothing, accessories, “style” etc. instead of qualities that matter to men), so my theory should make you a little paranoid from now on :-)
Then wouldn’t elusive behavior become a status signal of sorts? “Oh, person X is being elusive; there must be something there I’m not seeing!”
Yes, definitely.
I doubt it would work on men. We can assess female attractiveness directly in like 2 seconds, no need for signals and definitely not enough time to notice elusive behavior.
Status is a factor in male partner preferences, it’s just massively dwarfed by other factors.
Being elusive isn’t a big factor on direct desirability, but non-clinginess and a level of independence can be important for relationship preferences.
And this, my friend, is the “part of ‘No!’” that men “don’t understand”.
Again, it may seem clever to use explicit rejections and then expect men to “just know” that it’s fake by your “behavior” … but that creates a really rotten incentive structure.