I think it’s far from clear that staying religious will make her happier than not.
What if she’s gay?
OK, I’m guessing that your Mormon parent friend isn’t very comfortable with those teachings of the church. Perhaps they even openly reject them, and will make sure their daughter knows they think anyone who says otherwise is talking nonsense, even if it’s the preacher. Perhaps they’ll make sure and do that long before they know anything about her sexuality. How will they be with the next boundary?
Maybe it’s bisexuality, or SM, or polyamory, or trans, or maybe it’s something we’ll hear more about in fifteen or twenty years time. Being surrounded by Mormons when you discover you have an inclination like that is uncomfortable. From what I gather about experiences like that, though, it helps to know at least that the religion isn’t true, and that there’s no Hell.
Even if she’s none of these things, I hazard that conversion to atheism can significantly enhance the joy she can take in her sexuality. That’s just one of many ways it can bring joy, it’s just one dear to my heart.
For the purposes of the point I had in mind I’m assuming Wednesday will be cisgendered, heterosexual (or bisexual and unaware of that/aware but okay with not expressing it), and at least vanilla enough to be comfortable in Mormon culture.
I really don’t think there is any “vanilla enough to be comfortable in Mormon culture”—Mormon culture teaches overwhelming repression of fundamental sexual drives. It tries to make people feel guilty for masturbating, for Cthulu’s sake.
I don’t care who you are, what your orientation is, what your kinks are—that kind of repression is damaging.
Wouldn’t the expectation of bearing children be a bit of a problem there? Mormons are supposed to have (procreative) sex eventually, as I understand it.
Still, it was a mistake on my part to try to hold and defend the proposition “there is no such thing as a well-adjusted Mormon”—I’m sure they are a few. My point is simply that the belief structure is very widely damaging—that knowing nothing about Wednesday, the overwhelming probability is that she would be much better off were she free of it.
Yes, they are expected to have kids, but asexuals don’t have to be repulsed by sex, it just doesn’t interest them in and of itself. The one I mentioned plans to have children naturally if possible and doesn’t talk about sex as a horrifying ordeal, just a neutral prerequisite. If she were going to adopt, I’d expect her to talk about the paperwork similarly.
Impressed you said so publicly and hope it helps people feel less restrained from “coming out” in general. I would not have been able to do so were I in a position like yours. I was able to recently share something a few orders of magnitude less difficult to talk about.
Hence my disclaimer. I’m only talking about a small subset of theists, represented by Wednesday, who are happy, comfortable, and totally immersed in their religion. An uncomfortable Wednesday would have extra reasons to be suspicious of Mormonism, and I would have less sympathy for the choice to remain in the faith.
Is there more to this than if you only allow beans on one side of the scale then it’s not hard to guess how it will swing?
I think you are putting the beans on the wrong scale. Alicorn is not measuring proper attitudes for religion. What is being measured are attitudes toward people explicitly like Wednesday. This is less taking all the non-Wednesday theists off the religion scale and more taking the Wednesday beans to a completely different scale. Whether you find that useful is completely relevant, but I think it is interesting.
I think it’s far from clear that staying religious will make her happier than not.
What if she’s gay?
OK, I’m guessing that your Mormon parent friend isn’t very comfortable with those teachings of the church. Perhaps they even openly reject them, and will make sure their daughter knows they think anyone who says otherwise is talking nonsense, even if it’s the preacher. Perhaps they’ll make sure and do that long before they know anything about her sexuality. How will they be with the next boundary?
Maybe it’s bisexuality, or SM, or polyamory, or trans, or maybe it’s something we’ll hear more about in fifteen or twenty years time. Being surrounded by Mormons when you discover you have an inclination like that is uncomfortable. From what I gather about experiences like that, though, it helps to know at least that the religion isn’t true, and that there’s no Hell.
Even if she’s none of these things, I hazard that conversion to atheism can significantly enhance the joy she can take in her sexuality. That’s just one of many ways it can bring joy, it’s just one dear to my heart.
For the purposes of the point I had in mind I’m assuming Wednesday will be cisgendered, heterosexual (or bisexual and unaware of that/aware but okay with not expressing it), and at least vanilla enough to be comfortable in Mormon culture.
I really don’t think there is any “vanilla enough to be comfortable in Mormon culture”—Mormon culture teaches overwhelming repression of fundamental sexual drives. It tries to make people feel guilty for masturbating, for Cthulu’s sake.
I don’t care who you are, what your orientation is, what your kinks are—that kind of repression is damaging.
What if you’re a (romantically inclined) asexual?
Edit: They exist. I know one. (I also know a non-romantic asexual, so I know the difference.)
Wouldn’t the expectation of bearing children be a bit of a problem there? Mormons are supposed to have (procreative) sex eventually, as I understand it.
Still, it was a mistake on my part to try to hold and defend the proposition “there is no such thing as a well-adjusted Mormon”—I’m sure they are a few. My point is simply that the belief structure is very widely damaging—that knowing nothing about Wednesday, the overwhelming probability is that she would be much better off were she free of it.
Yes, they are expected to have kids, but asexuals don’t have to be repulsed by sex, it just doesn’t interest them in and of itself. The one I mentioned plans to have children naturally if possible and doesn’t talk about sex as a horrifying ordeal, just a neutral prerequisite. If she were going to adopt, I’d expect her to talk about the paperwork similarly.
As a member of the aforementioned subgroup, I endorse this representation. Well said.
Impressed you said so publicly and hope it helps people feel less restrained from “coming out” in general. I would not have been able to do so were I in a position like yours. I was able to recently share something a few orders of magnitude less difficult to talk about.
huh, didn’t know that, thanks =)
It’s quite likely that Wednesday will have children, and not unlikely that at least one of them won’t have a sexuality that fits well with Mormonism.
Are those odds enough to say that Mormonism is a loss for Wednesday?
Er, am I missing a reason why it’s valid to look only at that side of the scales when weighing up what our attitude to religion should be?
Hence my disclaimer. I’m only talking about a small subset of theists, represented by Wednesday, who are happy, comfortable, and totally immersed in their religion. An uncomfortable Wednesday would have extra reasons to be suspicious of Mormonism, and I would have less sympathy for the choice to remain in the faith.
Is there more to this than if you only allow beans on one side of the scale then it’s not hard to guess how it will swing?
I think you are putting the beans on the wrong scale. Alicorn is not measuring proper attitudes for religion. What is being measured are attitudes toward people explicitly like Wednesday. This is less taking all the non-Wednesday theists off the religion scale and more taking the Wednesday beans to a completely different scale. Whether you find that useful is completely relevant, but I think it is interesting.