Hm, thanks for the feedback. Not sure how to change, if I bunch the sentences into paragraphs it probably becomes less readable, if I give each sentence it’s own paragraph it becomes a bit disjointed. Let me think about it.
huh, not sure why paragraphs feel disjointed to you, feels like totally normal dialogue-heavy writing to me. made a draft with breaks here: https://www.lesswrong.com/editPost?postId=dRzsobGjtH6AyBkYp&key=a93a852f88e272373f6f8958137cc5
Fair enough, your version looks good, I’ll edit this main one to conform—done.
Hm, thanks for the feedback. Not sure how to change, if I bunch the sentences into paragraphs it probably becomes less readable, if I give each sentence it’s own paragraph it becomes a bit disjointed. Let me think about it.
huh, not sure why paragraphs feel disjointed to you, feels like totally normal dialogue-heavy writing to me. made a draft with breaks here: https://www.lesswrong.com/editPost?postId=dRzsobGjtH6AyBkYp&key=a93a852f88e272373f6f8958137cc5
Fair enough, your version looks good, I’ll edit this main one to conform—done.