My basic issue is that an outright Machiavellian lie and a true, real, cast-in-stone kind of amount of unchangeable felt pain are not the only two options.
Imagine that you are untrained but largely healthy, and forced (or strongly encouraged) to run 2-3km. It can be pretty painful, having to stop to pant for breath 10 times and so on, but how many repetitions it takes (with two days of rest) to make it okay? 20? 30 ? It is possible to get pretty quickly to a state where it does not hurt anymore, in mere months. Also factor in how the psychological pain can be different if you are for example doing it alone, or you are in a group of friends and a great trainer, great leader excellently motivating you all the way. The difference can be huge. In those circumstances, you get even quicker to the level where the whole thing is not negative sum, i.e. even before you get fit enough to enjoy it already the disutility of the panting etc. is small enough to offset by the positive emotional stuff like pride or togetherness.
Let’s suppose emotional reactions to offense work the same way.
In such a world, it would be reasonable for the offense-giver to say society should be shaped so that everybody gets a certain amount of thick-skin training and then we all don’t have to tiptoe around each other.
Your solution involves some kind of etiquette-and-sensitivity training. That is probably what isolated stoppages of offensive behavior lead to if organized with any sense of social efficiency. The question is, why not also desensitization training?
My basic issue is that an outright Machiavellian lie and a true, real, cast-in-stone kind of amount of unchangeable felt pain are not the only two options.
Imagine that you are untrained but largely healthy, and forced (or strongly encouraged) to run 2-3km. It can be pretty painful, having to stop to pant for breath 10 times and so on, but how many repetitions it takes (with two days of rest) to make it okay? 20? 30 ? It is possible to get pretty quickly to a state where it does not hurt anymore, in mere months. Also factor in how the psychological pain can be different if you are for example doing it alone, or you are in a group of friends and a great trainer, great leader excellently motivating you all the way. The difference can be huge. In those circumstances, you get even quicker to the level where the whole thing is not negative sum, i.e. even before you get fit enough to enjoy it already the disutility of the panting etc. is small enough to offset by the positive emotional stuff like pride or togetherness.
Let’s suppose emotional reactions to offense work the same way.
In such a world, it would be reasonable for the offense-giver to say society should be shaped so that everybody gets a certain amount of thick-skin training and then we all don’t have to tiptoe around each other.
Your solution involves some kind of etiquette-and-sensitivity training. That is probably what isolated stoppages of offensive behavior lead to if organized with any sense of social efficiency. The question is, why not also desensitization training?