I prefer to reject the idea of personal identity. I am a collection of changing beliefs and desires, and so are you. It’s a convenient shorthand to put more weight on the slowly-changing components, and there usually _is_ a continuity within a person (not everything changes at once, absent very unusual circumstances).
I do think that there are various persona I adopt in certain situations and with certain people—these are aspects of my current personality that I emphasize or slightly alter to better fit with my perception of other people’s needs and comfort. But that’s not identity, that’s behavior.
Which leads to two additional tactic, available with different groups of people:
Expose your lack of identity as your identity. Say “I’m conflicted about going to that sporting event—I’ll enjoy many aspects of it, but currently the activity itself doesn’t capture my passion. That could easily change by next season”.
Accept that others’ impressions of you is not your identity. The vast majority of people aren’t going to put enough thought into your beliefs and preferences to really matter to you, so let ’em pigeonhole you however is easiest for them. Those that are closer, you can judge their personality and openness to decide whether to show them an easy-but-incomplete persona, or to confide more variability and uncertainty.
I prefer to reject the idea of personal identity. I am a collection of changing beliefs and desires, and so are you. It’s a convenient shorthand to put more weight on the slowly-changing components, and there usually _is_ a continuity within a person (not everything changes at once, absent very unusual circumstances).
I do think that there are various persona I adopt in certain situations and with certain people—these are aspects of my current personality that I emphasize or slightly alter to better fit with my perception of other people’s needs and comfort. But that’s not identity, that’s behavior.
Which leads to two additional tactic, available with different groups of people:
Expose your lack of identity as your identity. Say “I’m conflicted about going to that sporting event—I’ll enjoy many aspects of it, but currently the activity itself doesn’t capture my passion. That could easily change by next season”.
Accept that others’ impressions of you is not your identity. The vast majority of people aren’t going to put enough thought into your beliefs and preferences to really matter to you, so let ’em pigeonhole you however is easiest for them. Those that are closer, you can judge their personality and openness to decide whether to show them an easy-but-incomplete persona, or to confide more variability and uncertainty.