My guess is that this isn’t true. Having dealt with several people who say bad things about themselves, it often just seems to actually be just a bad habit that pops like a bubble upon being noticed.
I agree with the kind of thing you’re talking about for many other issues, just not this one in most cases.
I agree. I’d add that many people act this way because of negative experiences in childhood. I know someone who often made self-deprecating jokes because, as a child, every good thing they did was followed by criticism from their caregivers — and I’m talking about unconstructive criticism. So, the brain mistakenly used that as a kind of self-improvement method, where nothing was ever good enough and the person always had to try harder. But in reality, self-improvement is often more about conviction and determination to change for the better than about metaphorically slapping yourself in the face with red marks of “I’m useless.” Ironically, excessive self-demand just makes you worse and worse — and what looks like “healthy discipline” to someone overly demanding can seem like carelessness, while to a truly careless person, those who focus on self-improvement seem insane.
I agree the self-mockery is probably doing some work. But what it was ultimately doing for me, I could acquire elsewhere. Is the issue that you need to be able to come up with a replacement before you stop the self-mockery?
If I had to guess you were just ready for it and likely couldn’t’ve done it sooner.
https://x.com/ChrisChipMonk/status/1965543786832151013
https://x.com/ChrischipMonk/status/1970152369708233138
My guess is that this isn’t true. Having dealt with several people who say bad things about themselves, it often just seems to actually be just a bad habit that pops like a bubble upon being noticed.
I agree with the kind of thing you’re talking about for many other issues, just not this one in most cases.
I agree. I’d add that many people act this way because of negative experiences in childhood. I know someone who often made self-deprecating jokes because, as a child, every good thing they did was followed by criticism from their caregivers — and I’m talking about unconstructive criticism. So, the brain mistakenly used that as a kind of self-improvement method, where nothing was ever good enough and the person always had to try harder. But in reality, self-improvement is often more about conviction and determination to change for the better than about metaphorically slapping yourself in the face with red marks of “I’m useless.” Ironically, excessive self-demand just makes you worse and worse — and what looks like “healthy discipline” to someone overly demanding can seem like carelessness, while to a truly careless person, those who focus on self-improvement seem insane.
Why?
I agree the self-mockery is probably doing some work. But what it was ultimately doing for me, I could acquire elsewhere. Is the issue that you need to be able to come up with a replacement before you stop the self-mockery?
Yes (or wait for those incentives to disappear from your life)