I agree. I’d add that many people act this way because of negative experiences in childhood. I know someone who often made self-deprecating jokes because, as a child, every good thing they did was followed by criticism from their caregivers — and I’m talking about unconstructive criticism. So, the brain mistakenly used that as a kind of self-improvement method, where nothing was ever good enough and the person always had to try harder. But in reality, self-improvement is often more about conviction and determination to change for the better than about metaphorically slapping yourself in the face with red marks of “I’m useless.” Ironically, excessive self-demand just makes you worse and worse — and what looks like “healthy discipline” to someone overly demanding can seem like carelessness, while to a truly careless person, those who focus on self-improvement seem insane.
I agree. I’d add that many people act this way because of negative experiences in childhood. I know someone who often made self-deprecating jokes because, as a child, every good thing they did was followed by criticism from their caregivers — and I’m talking about unconstructive criticism. So, the brain mistakenly used that as a kind of self-improvement method, where nothing was ever good enough and the person always had to try harder. But in reality, self-improvement is often more about conviction and determination to change for the better than about metaphorically slapping yourself in the face with red marks of “I’m useless.” Ironically, excessive self-demand just makes you worse and worse — and what looks like “healthy discipline” to someone overly demanding can seem like carelessness, while to a truly careless person, those who focus on self-improvement seem insane.