> I’m not a fan of that definition. It’s equating “feelings of safety” with “actual safety”
I agree with this, but it’s quite a mouthful to deal with. And I think “feelings of safety” are actually more important for truthseeking and creating a product—they’re the things that produce defensiveness, motivated reasoning, etc.
I think mr-hire thinks the important success condition is that people feel safe and that it’s important to design the space towards this goal, with something of a collective responsibility for the feelings of safety of each individual.
This seems rightish- but off in really important ways that I can’t articulate. It’s putting the emphasis on the wrong things and “collective responsiblity” is not an idea I like at all. I think I’d put my stance as something like “feeling unsafe is a major driver of what people say and do, and good cultures provide space to process and deal with those feelings of unsafety”
This definition can also put a lot of the power in the hands of those who are having a reaction. If we all agree that our conversation must be safe, and that any individual can declare it unsafe because they are having a reaction, this gives a lot power to individuals to force attention on the question of safety (and I fear too asymmetrically with others being blamed for causing the feelings of uncertainty).
Note that this issue is explicitly addressed in the original dialogue. If someones feelings are hurting the discourse, they need to take responsibility for that just as much as I need to take responsibility for hurting their feelings. No one is agreeing that all conversations must be safe for all people, but simply that taking into account when people feel unsafe is important.
I agree with this, but it’s quite a mouthful to deal with
Yeah, but there’s a really big difference! You can’t give up that precision.
This seems rightish- but off in really important ways that I can’t articulate.
Nods. Also agree that “collective responsibility” is not the most helpful concept to talk about.
Note that this issue is explicitly addressed in the original dialogue. If someones feelings are hurting the discourse, they need to take responsibility for that just as much as I need to take responsibility for hurting their feelings.
Indeed, the fact people can say “”It feels like your need for safety is getting in the way of truth-seeking”is crucial for it to have any chance.
My expectation based on related real-life experience though, is that if making your need for safety is an option, there will people who abuse this and use it to suck up a lot of time and attention. That technically someone could deny their claim and move on, but this will happen much later than optimal and in the meantime everyone’s attention has been sucked into a great drama. Attempts to say “your safety is disrupting truth-seeking” are accused as being attempts to oppress someone, etc.
This is all imagining how it would go with typical humans. I’m guessing you’re imagining better-than-typical people in your org who won’t have the same failure mode, so maybe it’ll be fine. I’m mostly anchored how I expect that approach to go if applied to most humans I’ve known (especially those really into caring about feelings and who’d be likely to sign up for it).
> I’m not a fan of that definition. It’s equating “feelings of safety” with “actual safety”
I agree with this, but it’s quite a mouthful to deal with. And I think “feelings of safety” are actually more important for truthseeking and creating a product—they’re the things that produce defensiveness, motivated reasoning, etc.
This seems rightish- but off in really important ways that I can’t articulate. It’s putting the emphasis on the wrong things and “collective responsiblity” is not an idea I like at all. I think I’d put my stance as something like “feeling unsafe is a major driver of what people say and do, and good cultures provide space to process and deal with those feelings of unsafety”
Note that this issue is explicitly addressed in the original dialogue. If someones feelings are hurting the discourse, they need to take responsibility for that just as much as I need to take responsibility for hurting their feelings. No one is agreeing that all conversations must be safe for all people, but simply that taking into account when people feel unsafe is important.
Yeah, but there’s a really big difference! You can’t give up that precision.
Nods. Also agree that “collective responsibility” is not the most helpful concept to talk about.
Indeed, the fact people can say “”It feels like your need for safety is getting in the way of truth-seeking”is crucial for it to have any chance.
My expectation based on related real-life experience though, is that if making your need for safety is an option, there will people who abuse this and use it to suck up a lot of time and attention. That technically someone could deny their claim and move on, but this will happen much later than optimal and in the meantime everyone’s attention has been sucked into a great drama. Attempts to say “your safety is disrupting truth-seeking” are accused as being attempts to oppress someone, etc.
This is all imagining how it would go with typical humans. I’m guessing you’re imagining better-than-typical people in your org who won’t have the same failure mode, so maybe it’ll be fine. I’m mostly anchored how I expect that approach to go if applied to most humans I’ve known (especially those really into caring about feelings and who’d be likely to sign up for it).