Is what you describe in [1] good generally? What’s the cost-benefit analysis of maintaining less ‘selves’?
I can’t really make a value judgement on it but I think it does give much more “degrees of freedom”. That is, I can still seem to do and finding meaning in everything I used to, but I can now do and find meaning in more things. I don’t really know if I’m better off or happier bit I do think I have a broader ability to effect change. One trade-off is that while it feels easier to step into someone else’s shoes, it seems harder for others to step into mine, as this fluid selves thing is less common.
[2] seems to assume that are no significant abstract higher-level considerations, i.e. ‘of course it’s all dependent of specific contextual details’. I don’t disagree – pragmatically – but it does seem to me like a real and significant cost. Are there ‘profitable’ benefits to coordinating socially to lower those costs?
Doesn’t it seem likely that there are some social contexts where it would be profitable, and some where it would not? I think a more useful approach would be to ask something like “What are the features of a social context that make it more or less profitable to coordinate around this?”
I agree somewhat but I’m not sure how useful it is to tell anyone that they don’t have to feel some way that they report they do feel. Consciously ‘censoring’ oneself – or feeling like one is doing that – probably can’t usefully also feel like “playing with your range of expression”.
I think talking about new mindsets or ways of being can be quite helpful IF people have the skill of internalizing a mindset. I talk about how to gain that skill here.
And is it even possible to entirely avoid feeling like one is “hiding or stifling” if one believes that some (true) info would be damaging if revealed?
I think so? I certainly have been in situations where I was consciously withholding information and not consciously noticing a stifling feeling. I think not having a single “oneself” can help here, because it doesn’t feel like I’m hiding “myself”, it’s more like I’m playing stratego and not wanting to give away the identity of a piece—it doesn’t feel like a loss of something
I can’t really make a value judgement on it but I think it does give much more “degrees of freedom”. That is, I can still seem to do and finding meaning in everything I used to, but I can now do and find meaning in more things. I don’t really know if I’m better off or happier bit I do think I have a broader ability to effect change. One trade-off is that while it feels easier to step into someone else’s shoes, it seems harder for others to step into mine, as this fluid selves thing is less common.
Doesn’t it seem likely that there are some social contexts where it would be profitable, and some where it would not? I think a more useful approach would be to ask something like “What are the features of a social context that make it more or less profitable to coordinate around this?”
I think talking about new mindsets or ways of being can be quite helpful IF people have the skill of internalizing a mindset. I talk about how to gain that skill here.
I think so? I certainly have been in situations where I was consciously withholding information and not consciously noticing a stifling feeling. I think not having a single “oneself” can help here, because it doesn’t feel like I’m hiding “myself”, it’s more like I’m playing stratego and not wanting to give away the identity of a piece—it doesn’t feel like a loss of something