I’m drafting a post for Discussion about how users on LessWrong who feel disconnected from the rationalist community can get involved and make friends and stuff.
What I’ve got so far:
Where everybody went away from LessWrong, and why
How you can keep up with great content/news/developments in rationality on sites other than LessWrong
*Get involved by going to meetups, and using the LW Study Hall
What I’m looking for:
A post I can link to about why the LW Study Hall is great.
Testimonials about how attending a meetup transformed social or intellectual life for you. I know this is the case in the Bay Area, and I know life became much richer for some friends e.g., I have in Vancouver or Seattle.
A repository of ideas for meetups, and other socializing, if somebody planning or starting a meetup can’t think of anything to do.
How to become friends and integrate socially with other rationalists/LWers. A rationalist from Toronto visited Vancouver, noticed we were all friends, and was asking us how we became all friends, rather than a circle of individuals who share intellectual interests, but not much else. The only suggestions we could think of were:
Be friends with a couple people from the meetup for years before, and hang out with everyone else for 2 years until it stops being awkward.
and
If you can get a ‘rationalist’ house with roommates from your LW meetup, you can force yourselves to rapidly become friends.
These are bad or impractical suggestions. If you have better ones to share, that’d be fantastic.
Please add suggestions for the numbered list. If relevant resources don’t exist, notify me, and I/we/somebody can make them. If you think I’m missing something else, please let me know.
If you can get a ‘rationalist’ house with roommates from your LW meetup, you can force yourselves to rapidly become friends.
I would advise against this. First become friends, then move to the same house. Some people are insufferable, and you don’t want to become their roommate just because one day they decided to visit your meetup and liked it. Not everyone who enjoys visiting your rationalist meetup is a good friend material.
I think it would be good to have a debate about “what do you want to get from LW? / why are you here?” Different people will give different answers. People who gave the same answer now do have something to talk about that is interesting to all of them. Some people want to change the world. Some people just want to chat. Both is a valid goal, but if you mix those people together, it may be frustrating for all of them. (“Why are we just talking and wasting time? Is that the most rational thing to do?” “Why do you always insist on doing something? I have enough work outside of LW. I come here to relax and have an intelligent debate.”)
Do something that is not merely sitting and debating, e.g. take a walk together. Or maybe go to a gym.
I was exaggerating for effect: my friend didn’t actually recommend strangers become roommates. Sorry about that. ‘Becoming roommates’ actually seemed to me a bad suggestion finding a residence to accommodate everyone, timing of people’s lives, lifestyle considerations, etc., make it very complicated. Anyway, I approve of your debate idea. I’ll include caveats about how tips for being involved hinge on knowing what one wants to get out of LessWrong and the surrounding community.
Tumblr also has a pretty active aspiring rationalist community and they also have a skype group. When I was still on it, the skype group was a very useful resource since you always had people to talk about “rationality topics,” which isn’t a common resource in everyone’s life.
To my knowledge people form close bonds in two ways. First: sharing things which make them feel vulnerable. Those things you feel as though you need to trust someone a lot before you can tell them. Paradoxically, telling people these things creates trust in them and encourages friendship. Just don’t give too much too quickly. Plan: create exercises where people are directed in sharing intimate things about themselves, perform these at meetups.
Second: Jointly overcoming adversity or challenge. When a new member joins a meetup, take them to do things you are good at and help them become good at it too. Then switch roles.
There are two levels to being friends:
(1) Emotional exchange. Deep and meaningful discussions about important issues in our lives makes us bond together.
(2) Doing things together outside of the meetup.
Are you going to an event that’s interesting for rationalists? Ask people from the meetup to come along with you. Do some people of the meetup organize an event? Go there.
I’m drafting a post for Discussion about how users on LessWrong who feel disconnected from the rationalist community can get involved and make friends and stuff.
What I’ve got so far: Where everybody went away from LessWrong, and why How you can keep up with great content/news/developments in rationality on sites other than LessWrong *Get involved by going to meetups, and using the LW Study Hall
What I’m looking for:
A post I can link to about why the LW Study Hall is great.
Testimonials about how attending a meetup transformed social or intellectual life for you. I know this is the case in the Bay Area, and I know life became much richer for some friends e.g., I have in Vancouver or Seattle.
A repository of ideas for meetups, and other socializing, if somebody planning or starting a meetup can’t think of anything to do.
How to become friends and integrate socially with other rationalists/LWers. A rationalist from Toronto visited Vancouver, noticed we were all friends, and was asking us how we became all friends, rather than a circle of individuals who share intellectual interests, but not much else. The only suggestions we could think of were:
and
These are bad or impractical suggestions. If you have better ones to share, that’d be fantastic.
Please add suggestions for the numbered list. If relevant resources don’t exist, notify me, and I/we/somebody can make them. If you think I’m missing something else, please let me know.
I would advise against this. First become friends, then move to the same house. Some people are insufferable, and you don’t want to become their roommate just because one day they decided to visit your meetup and liked it. Not everyone who enjoys visiting your rationalist meetup is a good friend material.
I think it would be good to have a debate about “what do you want to get from LW? / why are you here?” Different people will give different answers. People who gave the same answer now do have something to talk about that is interesting to all of them. Some people want to change the world. Some people just want to chat. Both is a valid goal, but if you mix those people together, it may be frustrating for all of them. (“Why are we just talking and wasting time? Is that the most rational thing to do?” “Why do you always insist on doing something? I have enough work outside of LW. I come here to relax and have an intelligent debate.”)
Do something that is not merely sitting and debating, e.g. take a walk together. Or maybe go to a gym.
I was exaggerating for effect: my friend didn’t actually recommend strangers become roommates. Sorry about that. ‘Becoming roommates’ actually seemed to me a bad suggestion finding a residence to accommodate everyone, timing of people’s lives, lifestyle considerations, etc., make it very complicated. Anyway, I approve of your debate idea. I’ll include caveats about how tips for being involved hinge on knowing what one wants to get out of LessWrong and the surrounding community.
Obvious suggestion: Map of the rationalist community.
Tumblr also has a pretty active aspiring rationalist community and they also have a skype group. When I was still on it, the skype group was a very useful resource since you always had people to talk about “rationality topics,” which isn’t a common resource in everyone’s life.
Kaj Sotala wrote a pdf called “How to run a Less Wrong meetup” or something like that.
Undeveloped response for item 4.
To my knowledge people form close bonds in two ways. First: sharing things which make them feel vulnerable. Those things you feel as though you need to trust someone a lot before you can tell them. Paradoxically, telling people these things creates trust in them and encourages friendship. Just don’t give too much too quickly. Plan: create exercises where people are directed in sharing intimate things about themselves, perform these at meetups.
Second: Jointly overcoming adversity or challenge. When a new member joins a meetup, take them to do things you are good at and help them become good at it too. Then switch roles.
There are two levels to being friends: (1) Emotional exchange. Deep and meaningful discussions about important issues in our lives makes us bond together.
(2) Doing things together outside of the meetup. Are you going to an event that’s interesting for rationalists? Ask people from the meetup to come along with you. Do some people of the meetup organize an event? Go there.