I can’t recall any instance of extreme, wincing regret at some moment in my life, that doesn’t have a flavor of regret for what it signals about me. That is, if regret has a use, it’s to spur me to avoid damaging my reputation and relationships. For this to cover all cases, though, it would have to be the case that the mechanism is too dumb to realize that nobody knows except me—just that it would be damaging if it were known.
I do feel like I want to suppress regret (not by doing fewer things to regret), so that only the worries I find useful are implanted in my mind.
In the category of non-signaling regret, which upon consideration isn’t empty (just less painful, in my experience), I suppose losses of resource, opportunity, or health are felt roughly twice as severe as a gain (according to various research I won’t search for).
I’ve yet to lose my wallet. But I feel potential regret every time I realize I’m insufficiently aware of its whereabouts. I don’t think actual regret is needed; imagined regret is just fine (and potentially unwanted). I’ve known other (well-off) people who have stronger or less discriminate tendencies toward regret and worry than I do, and they seem less happy.
(I placed the Nesov quote there to hopefully prime people into not immediately accept whatever senses of regret which seem to ‘make sense’. For example, merely looking for ‘consistency’.)
(on the general topic of regret)
I can’t recall any instance of extreme, wincing regret at some moment in my life, that doesn’t have a flavor of regret for what it signals about me. That is, if regret has a use, it’s to spur me to avoid damaging my reputation and relationships. For this to cover all cases, though, it would have to be the case that the mechanism is too dumb to realize that nobody knows except me—just that it would be damaging if it were known.
I do feel like I want to suppress regret (not by doing fewer things to regret), so that only the worries I find useful are implanted in my mind.
In the category of non-signaling regret, which upon consideration isn’t empty (just less painful, in my experience), I suppose losses of resource, opportunity, or health are felt roughly twice as severe as a gain (according to various research I won’t search for).
I’ve yet to lose my wallet. But I feel potential regret every time I realize I’m insufficiently aware of its whereabouts. I don’t think actual regret is needed; imagined regret is just fine (and potentially unwanted). I’ve known other (well-off) people who have stronger or less discriminate tendencies toward regret and worry than I do, and they seem less happy.
Bravo! That’s insightful. Thank you.
(I placed the Nesov quote there to hopefully prime people into not immediately accept whatever senses of regret which seem to ‘make sense’. For example, merely looking for ‘consistency’.)