I appreciate your well-considered criticism—and agree with a good deal of it.
However, this one line...
I didn’t enjoy reading it, and don’t imagine I would even if I was in the target audience.
… has run counter to the feedback I’ve been getting from individuals in my target audience; while they’ve commented on the various points raised, those who have gotten in touch with me so far have seemed to enjoy the comic. Thus, I’m having to keep in mind the difference between your statement here and what I’ve experienced so far as I consider the rest of your points.
The character, who doesn’t seem to have a name, seems neither sympathetic nor believable as a person
I’ve noticed that I have a strange habit, when I write fiction of any sort, of occasionally completely ignoring the whole idea of names. (I even tried writing a story specifically about that, in the Orion’s Arm setting.)
As for sympathy and believability—she’s a “fursona”, a furry-subculture cross between a personal avatar and a fictional/roleplaying character, so I’m curious which parts of her you find least sympathetic or believable (so I can determine whether those are the parts based directly on myself).
the same character is responsible for both the narration and most of the illustrating random
antics accompanying it. If you want to keep a similar format you absolutely need a second character.
Hm… Would it really make much of a difference if the second character is also responsible for both narration and random antics?
I ask because I have an example of a previous comic done by the artist, “Karno’s Heresies”, the non-adult pages of which can currently be found here, which was done in a similar format and aimed at a similar audience.
I’m not sure what the reader is supposed to think about being bribed with imaginary erotic favors
(even assuming they find the offer in principle alluring), particularly when they are supposed to be
persuaded of the virtues of changing their mind based on evidence.
It’s partly a joke, and partly an as-obvious-as-possible invocation of the Dark Arts.
As for sympathy and believability—she’s a “fursona”, a furry-subculture cross between a personal avatar and a fictional/roleplaying character, so I’m curious which parts of her you find least sympathetic or believable (so I can determine whether those are the parts based directly on myself).
Part of it is that she soundsextremely serious, but mostly looks like a fun loving person just fooling around. This clash makes her seem less believable to me (fun loving people can be serious and serious people can have fun, but usually not both at the same time, at least to this degree), and in as far as it meshes it makes her seem smug.
Hm… Would it really make much of a difference if the second character is also responsible for both narration and random antics?
There are possible arrangements where having a second character wouldn’t help, of course. But even if both were involved in the antics the character less involved and with more leisure to talk to the audience in that particular scene taking over the narration would probably already help.
Part of it is that she sounds extremely serious, but mostly looks like a fun loving person
just fooling around. This clash makes her seem less believable to me (fun loving people
can be serious and serious people can have fun, but usually not both at the same time,
at least to this degree),
Hunh. I guess it’s true what they say—truth can be stranger than fiction, because fiction has to be plausible. Those parts of the narrator character are fairly closely based on me… so I guess if I want her to seem more believable, I’d have to make her less realistic.
and in as far as it meshes it makes her seem smug.
Well, I’ve also been accused of being ‘arrogant’ when trying to talk about serious matters, which is fairly close, so I suppose I could have expected that appearance.
even if both were involved in the antics the character less involved and with more leisure
to talk to the audience in that particular scene taking over the narration would probably already help.
I see what you mean—and I’ll certainly take that idea into consideration as I continue thinking about what would work best.
I appreciate your well-considered criticism—and agree with a good deal of it.
However, this one line...
… has run counter to the feedback I’ve been getting from individuals in my target audience; while they’ve commented on the various points raised, those who have gotten in touch with me so far have seemed to enjoy the comic. Thus, I’m having to keep in mind the difference between your statement here and what I’ve experienced so far as I consider the rest of your points.
I’ve noticed that I have a strange habit, when I write fiction of any sort, of occasionally completely ignoring the whole idea of names. (I even tried writing a story specifically about that, in the Orion’s Arm setting.)
As for sympathy and believability—she’s a “fursona”, a furry-subculture cross between a personal avatar and a fictional/roleplaying character, so I’m curious which parts of her you find least sympathetic or believable (so I can determine whether those are the parts based directly on myself).
Hm… Would it really make much of a difference if the second character is also responsible for both narration and random antics?
I ask because I have an example of a previous comic done by the artist, “Karno’s Heresies”, the non-adult pages of which can currently be found here, which was done in a similar format and aimed at a similar audience.
It’s partly a joke, and partly an as-obvious-as-possible invocation of the Dark Arts.
Part of it is that she sounds extremely serious, but mostly looks like a fun loving person just fooling around. This clash makes her seem less believable to me (fun loving people can be serious and serious people can have fun, but usually not both at the same time, at least to this degree), and in as far as it meshes it makes her seem smug.
There are possible arrangements where having a second character wouldn’t help, of course. But even if both were involved in the antics the character less involved and with more leisure to talk to the audience in that particular scene taking over the narration would probably already help.
Hunh. I guess it’s true what they say—truth can be stranger than fiction, because fiction has to be plausible. Those parts of the narrator character are fairly closely based on me… so I guess if I want her to seem more believable, I’d have to make her less realistic.
Well, I’ve also been accused of being ‘arrogant’ when trying to talk about serious matters, which is fairly close, so I suppose I could have expected that appearance.
I see what you mean—and I’ll certainly take that idea into consideration as I continue thinking about what would work best.