Cause overheat in phone battery to explode way out
Chip away at wall with phone
Upload consciousness to phone, escape via wifi
Wrap shirt around fist and punch way out
Use wifi to request help from police
Use wifi to request help from friends
Use wifi to order package to own location, hope delivery man is resourceful
Dig out through floor
Craft phone into lock pick
Kick door in
Use phone part to unscrew hinges
Remove door handle etc to get to lock mechanism
Pray
Use steel from boot toecap to dig through wall
Smash head against wall
Are there lights in the room? If there are I’ll use them somehow
Jump high enough to smash through ceiling
Wait until someone opens the door
Do lots of exercise to become super strong, then smash out
Escape in my dreams
Examine floor, wall, ceiling, use strongest material to smash weakest
Found mega successful company via wifi, use profits to fund search and rescue for me
Become ace hacker, use global surveillance to find location and organise rescue
Ask for ideas on how I should escape in a LW post where I pretend that this is a hypothetical question intended to promote creativity
Use phone part to create laser to bore way out (research this on wifi!)
Shout for help
Boost wifi signal to get attention of anyone passing
Increase power to phone speakers to create sonic wave to knock down walls
Use phone speaker to create resonant frequency for wall to vibrate it down
Find out how air is being replenished – look for weak points
Investigate what weird physical/chemical effect is enabling me and my phone to store so much energy – use this new discovery to power my way out
Plead nicely with the people on the other side of the door
Offer bribes to any guards
Just unlock the door – maybe it doesn’t need a key
If room is small enough, climb up walls by wedging between opposite walls. Escape through ceiling
Chip hand/footholes in the walls to escape through ceiling
Wait for lock/hinges to rust, encourage this by breathing on them
Use phone battery acid to etch way out (can’t believe it took me this long for that one)
Force self to be sick, use stomach acid similarly
Use clothes/poop to create fire (light via phone spark). Burn any vulnerable parts of lock/door
Scrape out using finger/toenails (I have 10 years worth of nails)
If I find myself in this situation I hereby pre-commit myself to using all of my available resources not to escape but to reign down hellfire remotely on whoever put me in there (avoid getting put in this situation in the first place)
Realise that as an introvert I may actually be in a close approximation of heaven and live out the rest of my life in peace
Use zoom/whatsapp to virtually escape, even if physical body is still stuck
Place myself in suspended animation and await rescue
Use belt buckle to dig way out
Try the doorhandle – it is definitely locked, right?
Use glasses to focus light from phone torch to melt way out
Rub hands together until sore, use saw to cut phone in half, put 2 halves together to make whole, climb out through the hole
Smash out through window
Cause overheat in phone battery to explode way out
Chip away at wall with phone
Upload consciousness to phone, escape via wifi
Wrap shirt around fist and punch way out
Use wifi to request help from police
Use wifi to request help from friends
Use wifi to order package to own location, hope delivery man is resourceful
Dig out through floor
Craft phone into lock pick
Kick door in
Use phone part to unscrew hinges
Remove door handle etc to get to lock mechanism
Pray
Use steel from boot toecap to dig through wall
Smash head against wall
Are there lights in the room? If there are I’ll use them somehow
Jump high enough to smash through ceiling
Wait until someone opens the door
Do lots of exercise to become super strong, then smash out
Escape in my dreams
Examine floor, wall, ceiling, use strongest material to smash weakest
Found mega successful company via wifi, use profits to fund search and rescue for me
Become ace hacker, use global surveillance to find location and organise rescue
Ask for ideas on how I should escape in a LW post where I pretend that this is a hypothetical question intended to promote creativity
Use phone part to create laser to bore way out (research this on wifi!)
Shout for help
Boost wifi signal to get attention of anyone passing
Increase power to phone speakers to create sonic wave to knock down walls
Use phone speaker to create resonant frequency for wall to vibrate it down
Find out how air is being replenished – look for weak points
Investigate what weird physical/chemical effect is enabling me and my phone to store so much energy – use this new discovery to power my way out
Plead nicely with the people on the other side of the door
Offer bribes to any guards
Just unlock the door – maybe it doesn’t need a key
If room is small enough, climb up walls by wedging between opposite walls. Escape through ceiling
Chip hand/footholes in the walls to escape through ceiling
Wait for lock/hinges to rust, encourage this by breathing on them
Use phone battery acid to etch way out (can’t believe it took me this long for that one)
Force self to be sick, use stomach acid similarly
Use clothes/poop to create fire (light via phone spark). Burn any vulnerable parts of lock/door
Scrape out using finger/toenails (I have 10 years worth of nails)
If I find myself in this situation I hereby pre-commit myself to using all of my available resources not to escape but to reign down hellfire remotely on whoever put me in there (avoid getting put in this situation in the first place)
Realise that as an introvert I may actually be in a close approximation of heaven and live out the rest of my life in peace
Use zoom/whatsapp to virtually escape, even if physical body is still stuck
Place myself in suspended animation and await rescue
Use belt buckle to dig way out
Try the doorhandle – it is definitely locked, right?
Use glasses to focus light from phone torch to melt way out
Rub hands together until sore, use saw to cut phone in half, put 2 halves together to make whole, climb out through the hole
I feel I still have room to improve my creative applications of bodily fluids.
Now you have to read them all, don’t you, dear reader?