I think the problem is that you’re clinging to being 100% truthful and precise which is making you think you need to instantiate a meta-conversation when you really don’t. In scenario 5, you can just start talking to the person next to you about a different topic, “Oh hey did you see X, what’s up with that?” If they start chatting with you then you can pretty clearly tell they don’t want to listen to the chatty girl either. The fact that you two are having a conversation also signals to the chatty girl and other people around that you both are less interested in what she has to say. You guys can then keep talking near them, move away, etc. Other friends may follow you or join your conversation and it doesn’t matter if that girl was the chattiest of chatty people. She’ll be left talking to her boyfriend + 1 and if the +1 is not interested then he’ll come up with some excuse to go to the bathroom or something.
This happens subconsciously most of the time, but sometimes you have to take the initiative if you want to resolve the situation. This is way better than coming out and giving a meta explanation to everybody about how the conversation is boring or how you’re bored or something. Firstly, you’re not risking that you may have misread the room. Maybe your friends actually thought the girlfriend was interesting and if you speak up and say you’re bored or that she’s talking too much you’ll get shot down and probably annoy them. Secondly, this is a lot cleaner for the girl as well. She doesn’t suffer any overt embarrassment that she would otherwise experience had someone told her straight to her face in front of multiple people that she talks too much.
Fully putting your feelings into accurate, precise words and expressing them to a group is not always the best solution to uncomfortable social situations. I bet it’s not the best solution the majority of the time. But that doesn’t mean you just have to suppress your emotions, you can express them in more subtle ways that maybe aren’t 100% explicitly honest.
I feel that this is the best solution from r that situation, which is also the most difficult among them. Calling someone out on talking too much is difficult for you and mortifying for them. If they have said they have social anxiety, it’s even worse.
Creating a new conversation seems like it’s often the solution to a bad conversation.
For this reason, I avoid fixed seating arrangements in socials situations. I actively try to prevent or change them.
I think the problem is that you’re clinging to being 100% truthful and precise which is making you think you need to instantiate a meta-conversation when you really don’t. In scenario 5, you can just start talking to the person next to you about a different topic, “Oh hey did you see X, what’s up with that?” If they start chatting with you then you can pretty clearly tell they don’t want to listen to the chatty girl either. The fact that you two are having a conversation also signals to the chatty girl and other people around that you both are less interested in what she has to say. You guys can then keep talking near them, move away, etc. Other friends may follow you or join your conversation and it doesn’t matter if that girl was the chattiest of chatty people. She’ll be left talking to her boyfriend + 1 and if the +1 is not interested then he’ll come up with some excuse to go to the bathroom or something.
This happens subconsciously most of the time, but sometimes you have to take the initiative if you want to resolve the situation. This is way better than coming out and giving a meta explanation to everybody about how the conversation is boring or how you’re bored or something. Firstly, you’re not risking that you may have misread the room. Maybe your friends actually thought the girlfriend was interesting and if you speak up and say you’re bored or that she’s talking too much you’ll get shot down and probably annoy them. Secondly, this is a lot cleaner for the girl as well. She doesn’t suffer any overt embarrassment that she would otherwise experience had someone told her straight to her face in front of multiple people that she talks too much.
Fully putting your feelings into accurate, precise words and expressing them to a group is not always the best solution to uncomfortable social situations. I bet it’s not the best solution the majority of the time. But that doesn’t mean you just have to suppress your emotions, you can express them in more subtle ways that maybe aren’t 100% explicitly honest.
I feel that this is the best solution from r that situation, which is also the most difficult among them. Calling someone out on talking too much is difficult for you and mortifying for them. If they have said they have social anxiety, it’s even worse.
Creating a new conversation seems like it’s often the solution to a bad conversation.
For this reason, I avoid fixed seating arrangements in socials situations. I actively try to prevent or change them.