The magnitudes are much smaller on both sides of a recent situation. My father died three weeks ago. The family somehow ended up spending over 40K on death expenses (funeral, mausoleum slot, flowers, etc). My mom ended up spending six hundred and fifty dollars on a single rose arrangement in the shape of a big heart. The time to convince my family of effective altruism is not right after my father died. But I found spending so much money on a dead man, or more charitably expensive rites for the living, horrifying to see up close. Six hundred and fifty dollars is around the average monthly salary in Kenya. We could have really helped someone out sending that money overseas. Never mind what forty thousand dollars could have been used for.
I do agree with your view on the ineffectiveness of spending a lot of money on a dead person.
However… I think people find meaning from a wide range of things, and rituals around birth and death are two big ones since the origins of humankind itself. So in a sense, I can empathize with your family spending so much money. It seems to mean something to them.
Sacrificing material things in funerary rituals is as old as Ancient Egypt, and probably much older. The only new component in modern society is that now this sacrifice transforms into profit for someone else (the funerary industry, who operate under dubious ethical grounds).
But from the perspective of the griefing loved ones of the deceased, I think it’s all about meaning and closure.
The magnitudes are much smaller on both sides of a recent situation. My father died three weeks ago. The family somehow ended up spending over 40K on death expenses (funeral, mausoleum slot, flowers, etc). My mom ended up spending six hundred and fifty dollars on a single rose arrangement in the shape of a big heart. The time to convince my family of effective altruism is not right after my father died. But I found spending so much money on a dead man, or more charitably expensive rites for the living, horrifying to see up close. Six hundred and fifty dollars is around the average monthly salary in Kenya. We could have really helped someone out sending that money overseas. Never mind what forty thousand dollars could have been used for.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
I do agree with your view on the ineffectiveness of spending a lot of money on a dead person.
However… I think people find meaning from a wide range of things, and rituals around birth and death are two big ones since the origins of humankind itself. So in a sense, I can empathize with your family spending so much money. It seems to mean something to them.
Sacrificing material things in funerary rituals is as old as Ancient Egypt, and probably much older. The only new component in modern society is that now this sacrifice transforms into profit for someone else (the funerary industry, who operate under dubious ethical grounds).
But from the perspective of the griefing loved ones of the deceased, I think it’s all about meaning and closure.