I would have suggested slightly more on the golems. (Making sure they can’t do magic, self-modify etc.) But also it was about things still being in motion, so. And that could have been done earlier.
We never did find out how the nuclear stuff was being handled. I guess we didn’t need to though.
(It was interesting where biology and stuff around it came up. Like, the warlock stuff did (and we never found out how warlock magic worked—in keeping with it being lost entirely).)
We also didn’t find out what happened to Nade—though that might be realistic.
Overall, this story did well at being short. The characters in it are focused (or living their lives), and it fits that.
I recommend saving a copy of it as is (in case you change it to be longer—or shorter).
It’s good. There were a few parts (not quite grammar or spelling) that could use another look, but I think they already had comments on them about that. It didn’t really break things up enough for me to stop and look at it more—I wanted to keep reading and finish the story.
One idea I didn’t see in there that seemed relevant was expanding to other worlds. “If something could destroy civilization, without possibility of recovery, it was game over.” If you wanted to do a sequel that would be interesting. At the same time, I’m not sure if the tech level is there for that, or not, or if that would have to be farther into the future.
I would have suggested slightly more on the golems. (Making sure they can’t do magic, self-modify etc.) But also it was about things still being in motion, so. And that could have been done earlier.
We never did find out how the nuclear stuff was being handled. I guess we didn’t need to though.
(It was interesting where biology and stuff around it came up. Like, the warlock stuff did (and we never found out how warlock magic worked—in keeping with it being lost entirely).)
We also didn’t find out what happened to Nade—though that might be realistic.
Overall, this story did well at being short. The characters in it are focused (or living their lives), and it fits that.
I recommend saving a copy of it as is (in case you change it to be longer—or shorter).
It’s good. There were a few parts (not quite grammar or spelling) that could use another look, but I think they already had comments on them about that. It didn’t really break things up enough for me to stop and look at it more—I wanted to keep reading and finish the story.
One idea I didn’t see in there that seemed relevant was expanding to other worlds. “If something could destroy civilization, without possibility of recovery, it was game over.” If you wanted to do a sequel that would be interesting. At the same time, I’m not sure if the tech level is there for that, or not, or if that would have to be farther into the future.