I think this is hugely important. I want to add to it though: even as a manipulation it’s usually pretty silly. What can you really accomplish that you’ll feel good about afterwards? The main thing it accomplishes is to get people to stop throwing uncomfortable potential truths at you. Like any other knee-jerk emotional reaction, it tends to be pretty short sighted.
There’s a good substitute too. I try really hard to avoid taking offense, and in the very rare cases where offense seems potentially useful, I’ve gotten good results by merely pointing out that a statement is offensive, without actually taking offense. Sorta like saying “I’m a big boy and I can handle this conversation, but are you really taking that position right now?”. Usually that gets them to be a little more empathetic.
Yes!
I think this is hugely important. I want to add to it though: even as a manipulation it’s usually pretty silly. What can you really accomplish that you’ll feel good about afterwards? The main thing it accomplishes is to get people to stop throwing uncomfortable potential truths at you. Like any other knee-jerk emotional reaction, it tends to be pretty short sighted.
There’s a good substitute too. I try really hard to avoid taking offense, and in the very rare cases where offense seems potentially useful, I’ve gotten good results by merely pointing out that a statement is offensive, without actually taking offense. Sorta like saying “I’m a big boy and I can handle this conversation, but are you really taking that position right now?”. Usually that gets them to be a little more empathetic.