my dad doesn’t believe in me, or really know anything about me.
he thinks i’m a failure, chutiah, etc.
If he doesn’t know anything about you, why would it matter what he thinks about you?
A part of becoming adult is realizing that your parents are just random people with no magical powers. Their opinions are just… their opinions. Could be right, could be wrong, could be anything. If someone who isn’t your parent said the same thing, would you care?
I’m still going to care because he’s my father and I love him and care about him. And also becase I don’t like ideas that are about discouraging caring.
I’m going to feel the pain that comes with caring, but that’s fine. And yes his opinion is wrong and is not going to stop me anymore.
There are plenty of others who care about and respect my work and unlike my dad’s disrespect, that can actually go into making me money and increasing what I can do.
Thank you for the support btw, I really appreciate it <3
Sometimes the solution is just not to talk about certain topics. (But this requires cooperation from the other side.) For example, I don’t discuss politics with my mother, because that would be predictably frustrating for both sides.
Maybe there is a good boundary for you, for example don’t discuss your job? (Or stick to technicalities, such as salary.)
This belief and self confidence thing isn’t all there is to it though. It’s also a standards issue. Which is also driven by the belief. The belief that putting in the extra effort will be worth it.
That it’s worth it to just have something be higher standard for myself.
Then there is a contrasting, opposite thing. Of wanting to have a very very high standard of rigour.
One voice decrying polish because it’s seen as associative with slop and the other decrying the lack of rigour. So what’s left is rigorous unpolished hard to read things, that are only obviously valuable to someone who is willing to put up with the high lack of polish for a long time.
Interesting, that summarizes my work a lot, for the last two years.
part of it, the biggest part, i think, is that my dad doesn’t believe in me, or really know anything about me.
he thinks i’m a failure, chutiah, etc.
that hurts a lot, basically every time i think about it.
esp fresh rn cos he was saying it last night..
mum feels like she believes in some future version of me, but does so less and less and now the belief is very low.
there should be a way to believe in myself without that though.
or maybe even needing that is an illusion.
what if i am ok with failing.
If he doesn’t know anything about you, why would it matter what he thinks about you?
A part of becoming adult is realizing that your parents are just random people with no magical powers. Their opinions are just… their opinions. Could be right, could be wrong, could be anything. If someone who isn’t your parent said the same thing, would you care?
He’s def wrong.
I’m still going to care because he’s my father and I love him and care about him. And also becase I don’t like ideas that are about discouraging caring.
I’m going to feel the pain that comes with caring, but that’s fine. And yes his opinion is wrong and is not going to stop me anymore.
There are plenty of others who care about and respect my work and unlike my dad’s disrespect, that can actually go into making me money and increasing what I can do.
Thank you for the support btw, I really appreciate it <3
Sometimes the solution is just not to talk about certain topics. (But this requires cooperation from the other side.) For example, I don’t discuss politics with my mother, because that would be predictably frustrating for both sides.
Maybe there is a good boundary for you, for example don’t discuss your job? (Or stick to technicalities, such as salary.)
This belief and self confidence thing isn’t all there is to it though. It’s also a standards issue. Which is also driven by the belief. The belief that putting in the extra effort will be worth it.
That it’s worth it to just have something be higher standard for myself.
Then there is a contrasting, opposite thing. Of wanting to have a very very high standard of rigour.
One voice decrying polish because it’s seen as associative with slop and the other decrying the lack of rigour. So what’s left is rigorous unpolished hard to read things, that are only obviously valuable to someone who is willing to put up with the high lack of polish for a long time.
Interesting, that summarizes my work a lot, for the last two years.