Yesterday I was in a two hour personal development workshop. Topic was about setting goals and making clear decisions to reach them.
The person who gave the workshop that three years ago he was rather shy and had trouble standing in front of people. 3 years later after doing toastmasters and training in a specific coaching paradigm he’s confident on stage.
He had his notes and performed the workshop from them. He talked about a few decisions such as making a decision to drink coffee or the decision to close the window of the room. 5 minutes later a person in the audience asks him to close the window and he just closes the window. He doesn’t do anything with it because responding to it isn’t plannable. He could used the situation to reiterate a point but he didn’t. There were also other opportuniteis where he could have interact much better with what the audience gave him to make his point on a deeper emotional level.
Working with the present moment and responding do what’s happening isn’t something that you learn by reading a bunch of principles. It’s very much about not being fixated on the principles and just going with the flow.
There was also a time where he put his hand into his trousers. He’s a toastmaster. He knows that you aren’t supposed to put your hand into your trousers. He probably gave feedback to other people at a toastmasters meeting about how it’s bad to put your hand into your trousers in the past.
Knowing not to put your hand into your trousers doesn’t seem enough. There seem to be deeper reasons of why human put their hand sometimes into their trousers while public speaking. I would call it generally emotional management.
If you have the wrong emotions while standing in front of a crowd doing public speaking than your body while give it off. There are things you can do to try to fake it but it still looks artificial. If you are a politician it’s okay to look artificial on stage. If you look like you are powerful that’s enough to get people’s respect.
In low key social interactions looking artificial often isn’t okay.
In pickup terms it’s called inner game. It’s important that various thought patterns about not being worthy of attention of other people don’t trigger. It’s important to feel at ease.
If you try to use a bunch of principles to decide when to laugh how loud at what joke, you aren’t really enjoying the joke in the first place. Simply letting go of worrying about outcomes is hard. I personally often struggle with letting go.
It’s very easy to understand but hard to implement.
Yesterday I was in a two hour personal development workshop. Topic was about setting goals and making clear decisions to reach them. The person who gave the workshop that three years ago he was rather shy and had trouble standing in front of people. 3 years later after doing toastmasters and training in a specific coaching paradigm he’s confident on stage.
He had his notes and performed the workshop from them. He talked about a few decisions such as making a decision to drink coffee or the decision to close the window of the room. 5 minutes later a person in the audience asks him to close the window and he just closes the window. He doesn’t do anything with it because responding to it isn’t plannable. He could used the situation to reiterate a point but he didn’t. There were also other opportuniteis where he could have interact much better with what the audience gave him to make his point on a deeper emotional level.
Working with the present moment and responding do what’s happening isn’t something that you learn by reading a bunch of principles. It’s very much about not being fixated on the principles and just going with the flow.
There was also a time where he put his hand into his trousers. He’s a toastmaster. He knows that you aren’t supposed to put your hand into your trousers. He probably gave feedback to other people at a toastmasters meeting about how it’s bad to put your hand into your trousers in the past.
Knowing not to put your hand into your trousers doesn’t seem enough. There seem to be deeper reasons of why human put their hand sometimes into their trousers while public speaking. I would call it generally emotional management.
If you have the wrong emotions while standing in front of a crowd doing public speaking than your body while give it off. There are things you can do to try to fake it but it still looks artificial. If you are a politician it’s okay to look artificial on stage. If you look like you are powerful that’s enough to get people’s respect.
In low key social interactions looking artificial often isn’t okay.
In pickup terms it’s called inner game. It’s important that various thought patterns about not being worthy of attention of other people don’t trigger. It’s important to feel at ease.
If you try to use a bunch of principles to decide when to laugh how loud at what joke, you aren’t really enjoying the joke in the first place. Simply letting go of worrying about outcomes is hard. I personally often struggle with letting go. It’s very easy to understand but hard to implement.