IME, however, women tend to prefer that all of these things be explicitly stated or disclaimed…
Is it really the case that women would respond positively towards this kind of “full disclosure”? If we are to take dating experts seriously, men are much better off if they leave such things unsaid. I agree with Steve Rayhawk that what most people really object to is depersonalization, i.e. the absence of empathy: as long as it is known with certainty that this is not your intent, you are in practice free to objectify as much as you want.
Is it really the case that women would respond positively towards this kind of “full disclosure”? If we are to take dating experts seriously, men are much better off if they leave such things unsaid.
Different context. First, what dating experts say about creating relationships doesn’t always apply to sustaining them. Try being married for 13 years without ever explicitly telling your partner how much you love them!
Second, almost everything I’ve been saying is very strictly grounded in the context of a specific statement made here, and the subsequent discussion. So when I said “prefer that all of these things be explicitly stated or disclaimed”, I meant in the social context of a man stating an intention to “get” a woman, that is not specifically directed at the subject of his statement, and which occurs in the presence of persons other than that man, and the woman. (A very narrow context, in other words.)
Also, “respond positively” does not equal “prefer”. Someone can “prefer” one thing, and yet respond positively to another… which is the usual point being made by those dating experts.
Is it really the case that women would respond positively towards this kind of “full disclosure”? If we are to take dating experts seriously, men are much better off if they leave such things unsaid. I agree with Steve Rayhawk that what most people really object to is depersonalization, i.e. the absence of empathy: as long as it is known with certainty that this is not your intent, you are in practice free to objectify as much as you want.
Different context. First, what dating experts say about creating relationships doesn’t always apply to sustaining them. Try being married for 13 years without ever explicitly telling your partner how much you love them!
Second, almost everything I’ve been saying is very strictly grounded in the context of a specific statement made here, and the subsequent discussion. So when I said “prefer that all of these things be explicitly stated or disclaimed”, I meant in the social context of a man stating an intention to “get” a woman, that is not specifically directed at the subject of his statement, and which occurs in the presence of persons other than that man, and the woman. (A very narrow context, in other words.)
Also, “respond positively” does not equal “prefer”. Someone can “prefer” one thing, and yet respond positively to another… which is the usual point being made by those dating experts.