I’m looking at the possible causal relationships between certain actions and resultant discomfort. As I understand your argument, you believe that certain actions by one person will always result in discomfort by the other. I disagree, and I submit that the discomfort is a product of the original action and its response. In other words, if someone has made you feel uncomfortable, it may be possible for you to reduce that discomfort independently of the precipitating action. Your discomfort may be due to an irrational bias. This would be a reason not to shun someone for making you feel uncomfortable.
There is a difference between analyzing an action and communicating that you are analyzing an action. To speak to your concluding example, “smiling back” and, “[going] in your head and think about whether or not that signal means that she likes you,” are NOT mutually exclusive. With practice, you can do both at once. I would call this leveling up.
Stepping in as an interlocuter; while I agree that “all-powerful” is poor terminology, I think the described power here is likely with AGI. One feature AGI is nearly certain to have is superhuman processing power; this allows large numbers of Monte Carlo simulations which an AGI could use to predict human responses; especially if there is a Bayesian calibrating mechanism. An above-human ability to predict human responses is an essential component to near-perfect social engineering. I don’t see this as an outrageous, magic-seeming power. Such an AGI could theoretically have the power to convince humans to adopt any desired response. I believe your paper maintains that an AGI wouldn’t use this power, and not that such a power is outrageous.
My personal feelings twards this article are that is sounds suspiciously close to a “No true Scotsman” argument. “No true (designed with friendly intentions) AI would submit to these catastrophic tendencies.” While your arguments are persuasive, I wonder if a catastrophe did occur, would you dismiss it as the work of “not a true AI?” By way of disclaimer, my strengths are in philosophy and mathematics, and decidedly not computer science. I hope you have time to reply anyways.