How can I distinguish between reflective attention and common attention?
Exocortex is what you need.
There are methods to remember things better, to wake up at a specific time, to make unconscious mind work for you. The last one may be disputable technique, because there are still debates regarding work of unconscious mind. But you do not need tulpa for that.
By the way, I have some well-detailed characters from role-playing game of mine, they act much like tulpas but without visual image in surrounding environment. I just have their pictures and appearances in mind. Another difference is that the most of them do not know about me, because they live in my imaginary world. But this world is very similar to ours, so I can easily provide one of them access to the LessWrong site and this character can even participate in conversations. Also I can arrange a meeting with me as an imaginary copy or even provide them information that they are imaginary characters.
Do you mean handbook published in 2004? And could you please describe in a few words why does it suck?
This link maybe? http://lesswrong.com/meetups/
You can follow it clicking on the “Nearest Meetups” title on the right column.