I find it fascinating that the earring makes me so tempted to wear it for real-world tasks, whereas if it were about wearing it to play my favorite video games (e.g., Slay the Spire), the temptation would be precisely zero. This glaring discrepancy convinces me of Scott’s point.
I believe that the problem with your interpretation that you’re not destroyed if there’s a model of you inside the earring, is that it’s not enough for a model to simply exist for it to be felt as life. If a scientist understands and predicts an ant, I don’t think it’s fair to say that the ant lives within the scientist. I might be persuaded that the ant still exists, but it certainly doesn’t live. So I think it’s all about agency after all.
As a fellow ADHD and depression sufferer who struggles to be happy, I’d precommit to wear this earring to achieve a certain very modest level of financial stability and independence, and then to take if off and start living my own life. It seems useful for ending a losing streak, but not for winning—that just wouldn’t be fun.
Unpopular opinion, but I still think “friendliness” is the best term (and concept). As an ant, I don’t care how well a vastly superior intelligence is “aligned” with my goals as long as it’s friendly to ants. And frankly, the idea of a “safe human” is delusional from an ant’s perspective. The massive difference in power makes humans inherently unsafe. I like “friendliness” because it’s a disposition, as well as an active, conscious choice to be benevolent, rather than a passive state of being “aligned” or “safe”.