Really interesting post—this actually connects to some research I’ve been looking into recently around oxytocin and attachment patterns.
There’s this psychologist Adam Lane Smith who’s built on neurobiological work by researchers like Carolyn Zahn-Waxler and Ruth Feldman—they’ve found that under high stress conditions when younger, or absence of secure attachment figures, cortisol-induced stress actually strengthens cortisol and dopamine pathways for reward while inhibiting the oxytocin and serotonin pathways. The end result (avoidant attachment) sounds remarkably similar to what you’re describing: people who clearly care about others and feel responsibility, but don’t experience that warm “loving connection” feeling that most people seem to get from relationships.
What struck me about your situation is that you’ve essentially got the genetic version of what this research suggests can happen environmentally. Both paths seem to lead to the same place—having to navigate social connection through pattern recognition and cognitive analysis rather than emotional intuition, because your brain is essentially running on dopamine-driven systems instead of oxytocin-based ones.
Makes me wonder if there’s a whole spectrum of people out there—some genetic, some developmental—who are all essentially operating with similar neurochemical profiles but don’t realize they’re part of the same phenomenon. Your case might be the key to understanding how this actually works at a biological level.
Do you find you’ve gotten really good at reading people through behavioral patterns rather than gut feelings?
Really interesting post—this actually connects to some research I’ve been looking into recently around oxytocin and attachment patterns.
There’s this psychologist Adam Lane Smith who’s built on neurobiological work by researchers like Carolyn Zahn-Waxler and Ruth Feldman—they’ve found that under high stress conditions when younger, or absence of secure attachment figures, cortisol-induced stress actually strengthens cortisol and dopamine pathways for reward while inhibiting the oxytocin and serotonin pathways. The end result (avoidant attachment) sounds remarkably similar to what you’re describing: people who clearly care about others and feel responsibility, but don’t experience that warm “loving connection” feeling that most people seem to get from relationships.
What struck me about your situation is that you’ve essentially got the genetic version of what this research suggests can happen environmentally. Both paths seem to lead to the same place—having to navigate social connection through pattern recognition and cognitive analysis rather than emotional intuition, because your brain is essentially running on dopamine-driven systems instead of oxytocin-based ones.
Makes me wonder if there’s a whole spectrum of people out there—some genetic, some developmental—who are all essentially operating with similar neurochemical profiles but don’t realize they’re part of the same phenomenon. Your case might be the key to understanding how this actually works at a biological level.
Do you find you’ve gotten really good at reading people through behavioral patterns rather than gut feelings?