I think a lot of autism-induced (?) dysphoria comes from not wanting to grow up. Anime girls don’t necessarily have to work, they don’t deal with aging like that of a human, or the effects of puberty (periods and what not) on-screen. As an autistic person, I had the tendency to retreat from reality into fiction, gaming and the internet because these don’t have the “imperfections” reality has. This, I believe, leads to a distorted view of the world.
A lot of anime girls are portrayed as weak, kind, shy, and cute (but at the same time, intelligent, strong and independent when needed) and are the center of attention for moe anime. It is understandable to me how males who don’t fit rigid social and gender norms could see themselves in and self-insert as moe anime girls. I never related to strong men in cartoons and anime males were mostly bland-looking in the anime I watched, while girls were heavily stylized, more complex, and had enviable social lives.
It is normal to encourage male to work hard or do great things so as to be loved. On the other hand, not being ugly is sometimes sufficient for a woman to be seen as loved (and that depends a lot on what a person subjectively determines to be “ugly”). This is attractive to an outcast with a poor understanding of the opposite gender. My dysphoria diminished when I started understanding the struggles that women have to go through, and I realized that I could not be a woman in the way I imagine them to be. I had put women on a pedestal and proceeded to have unrealistic views about them.
This also ties into the “incel to trans pipeline”.[1] If women are living life in “easy mode”, why would you not transition? Many self-proclaimed incels believe that they are low value males, and have an overwhelming desire to be loved. Though I’m not yet sure whether these people are born with a propensity to be trans (i.e. that it is innate), or whether they come to that conclusion due to extraneous social factors. Either way, incel spaces do seem as if they would be attractive to closeted and repressed trans people (it would give them an excuse for why they hate their bodies).
> Only this time, there was the mental lubricant of knowing there was an entire community full of people who had, apparently, extremely similar hang-ups to my own.
Autistic people mimic the people around them in their communities (a symptom of masking). Until I started using r/traa and r/egg_irl, I had no dysphoria and I was fine being a man. Until I started using 4chan and watching anime, I had no desire to become a girl. It was only after these ideas (transition, being gender non-conforming) were introduced to me that I started feeling dysphoria. The closest thing I had to dysphoria was not wanting to develop undesirable secondary male characteristics (body hair, balding). I never looked at my mother or my sisters and thought that I would fit more in the role assigned to women. My interests were all male-typical and I was indifferent to female-typical interests such as dolls and fashion. I don’t know if it is all that probable that people similar to me have “female brains”. I think this might explain why online trans women don’t have extremely feminine interests?
At least these are some of the reasons why I, having related a lot to your specific case, chose not to transition. Your article is well-written written, as others have said. I hope this is understandable in some way, as I don’t have the habit of writing.
I think a lot of autism-induced (?) dysphoria comes from not wanting to grow up. Anime girls don’t necessarily have to work, they don’t deal with aging like that of a human, or the effects of puberty (periods and what not) on-screen. As an autistic person, I had the tendency to retreat from reality into fiction, gaming and the internet because these don’t have the “imperfections” reality has. This, I believe, leads to a distorted view of the world.
A lot of anime girls are portrayed as weak, kind, shy, and cute (but at the same time, intelligent, strong and independent when needed) and are the center of attention for moe anime. It is understandable to me how males who don’t fit rigid social and gender norms could see themselves in and self-insert as moe anime girls. I never related to strong men in cartoons and anime males were mostly bland-looking in the anime I watched, while girls were heavily stylized, more complex, and had enviable social lives.
It is normal to encourage male to work hard or do great things so as to be loved. On the other hand, not being ugly is sometimes sufficient for a woman to be seen as loved (and that depends a lot on what a person subjectively determines to be “ugly”). This is attractive to an outcast with a poor understanding of the opposite gender. My dysphoria diminished when I started understanding the struggles that women have to go through, and I realized that I could not be a woman in the way I imagine them to be. I had put women on a pedestal and proceeded to have unrealistic views about them.
This also ties into the “incel to trans pipeline”.[1] If women are living life in “easy mode”, why would you not transition? Many self-proclaimed incels believe that they are low value males, and have an overwhelming desire to be loved. Though I’m not yet sure whether these people are born with a propensity to be trans (i.e. that it is innate), or whether they come to that conclusion due to extraneous social factors. Either way, incel spaces do seem as if they would be attractive to closeted and repressed trans people (it would give them an excuse for why they hate their bodies).
> Only this time, there was the mental lubricant of knowing there was an entire community full of people who had, apparently, extremely similar hang-ups to my own.
Autistic people mimic the people around them in their communities (a symptom of masking). Until I started using r/traa and r/egg_irl, I had no dysphoria and I was fine being a man. Until I started using 4chan and watching anime, I had no desire to become a girl. It was only after these ideas (transition, being gender non-conforming) were introduced to me that I started feeling dysphoria. The closest thing I had to dysphoria was not wanting to develop undesirable secondary male characteristics (body hair, balding). I never looked at my mother or my sisters and thought that I would fit more in the role assigned to women. My interests were all male-typical and I was indifferent to female-typical interests such as dolls and fashion. I don’t know if it is all that probable that people similar to me have “female brains”. I think this might explain why online trans women don’t have extremely feminine interests?
At least these are some of the reasons why I, having related a lot to your specific case, chose not to transition. Your article is well-written written, as others have said. I hope this is understandable in some way, as I don’t have the habit of writing.
the ceicocat video already mentioned by danielms is worth watching regarding this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAA1XtDOuH8