In my experience of similar appearing shifts of person, what you are experiencing is the “instability” that is to become your new (and more) “stable” state. It will provide advantages and disadvantages and is, in my finding, a more optimal but longer term strategy for the living of life.
Remember:
You exist (i.e. “you think, therefore you are”—thank you Descartes)
Item 1. above provides at least one example of an indisputable truth that you may know. As a result, truth exists whether you know what that truth is or not.
Although it may appear less stable, your newer normal provides greater stability. After all a system which can be made unstable was not stable, it only maintained such an appearance.
Don’t forget to rest and appreciate the work you have chosen for yourself. Doing so can only support your continued ability to strive further.
Regarding the concerns you have for the emerging new morality, I think you’ll find well enough over time that you come full circle. There are experientially more options before you than you previously provided yourself. However, some of those are better options than the others. In the end, given the shared nature of existence your own most selfish interests will bear relationship to the greatest selfish interests of the other sentiences in said existence. There is some trickiness in that last statement but I stand by it. As you begin to come around this “full circle” what I would suggest you’ll find is that you’ll not only approach your previous state in a sense but that it will be supported by a greater appreciation of, awareness of, and capability in how to better obtain your goals.
Enjoy the exploration of your possible person states!
I am Erik Erikson. By day I currently write patents and proofs of concept in the field of enterprise software. My chosen studies included neuro and computer sciences in pursuit of the understanding that can produce generally intelligent entities of equal to or greater than human intelligence less our human limitations. I most distinctly began my “rationalist” development around the age of ten when I came to doubt all truth, including my own existence. I am forever in debt to the “I think, therefore I am” idiom as my first piece of knowledge. I happened upon LW through singularity.org and appreciate the efforts here. Of particular interest to me is improved consideration of the formulated goal for AI (really for any sentient entity) I have devised: the manifested unification of all ideals. I pleasantly found this related to the formulation of intelligence that appears commonly accepted here: “cross-domain optimization”. However, I have also been concerned for some time about the mechanical bias that may be implicit: it seems clear that a system which functions through growth (the establishment of connections) as a result of correlated signals would be inherently and, of concern, incorrectly biased towards favoring the unification concept.