I like my husband to be slightly dominant (his Captain Picard to my “number one”
Are you an Athol Kay fan?
Few things make a man more unattractive than being needy, either financially or emotionally.
Funny how these things can be interpreted. A rich submissive man could see giving a woman money as a submissive act (“she control’s my finances!”), while a dominant man could see it as a dominant act (“I take care of her!”)
Found out my sister got an interview for a highly paid and prestigious job, and was reminded how low paid and not prestigious my job was. Since status is relative, my sister’s success threatened my feeling of self-worth. I was tempted to rationalize my sister’s success away, and think of some sort of excuse as to why I have achieved less than her. But then I thought of a better strategy.
Instead of seeing my sister as a status competitor, I could affiliate with her. I can truthfully say that I come from a family of high-achievers, even if I’m not a high achiever myself. When I affiliate with her, her success becomes my success and I feel more confident. And it prevents the animosity that would have developed if I’d seen my sister as a status competitor.