This is an important distinction, otherwise you risk getting into unproductive discussions about someone’s intent instead of focusing on whether a person’s patterns are compatible with your or your group/community’s needs.
It doesn’t matter if someone was negligent or malicious: if they are bad at reading your nonverbal cues and you are bad at explicitly saying no to boundary crossing behaviors, you are incompatible and that is reason enough to end the relationship. It doesn’t matter if someone is trying their best: if their best is still disruptive to your team, that is reason enough to request they be transferred out.
I can’t remember if this essay is where I learned this concept. But remembering this distinction protected me in meaningful ways at least twice.
Yeah, in domains where the cost of improvement/training either is too high or can’t happen, this post is really helpful, and I agree with this review the most.
This is an important distinction, otherwise you risk getting into unproductive discussions about someone’s intent instead of focusing on whether a person’s patterns are compatible with your or your group/community’s needs.
It doesn’t matter if someone was negligent or malicious: if they are bad at reading your nonverbal cues and you are bad at explicitly saying no to boundary crossing behaviors, you are incompatible and that is reason enough to end the relationship. It doesn’t matter if someone is trying their best: if their best is still disruptive to your team, that is reason enough to request they be transferred out.
I can’t remember if this essay is where I learned this concept. But remembering this distinction protected me in meaningful ways at least twice.
Yeah, in domains where the cost of improvement/training either is too high or can’t happen, this post is really helpful, and I agree with this review the most.