To my chagrin, knowing that seems to actually contribute to my likelihood of not doing it
Is the chagrin necessary? Not doing things because you know they make people think you are being a prat and so you anticipate a negative response is a good thing. Others benefit, you benefit. If I notice myself adapting to circumstance like that I reward myself, I don’t feel guilt or shame.
Necessary, no. But I am in fact chagrined. I seem to have internalized the idea that I ought to choose a course of action primarily for nonsocial reasons. Which I don’t endorse.
Is the chagrin necessary? Not doing things because you know they make people think you are being a prat and so you anticipate a negative response is a good thing. Others benefit, you benefit. If I notice myself adapting to circumstance like that I reward myself, I don’t feel guilt or shame.
Necessary, no. But I am in fact chagrined.
I seem to have internalized the idea that I ought to choose a course of action primarily for nonsocial reasons.
Which I don’t endorse.
I know the feeling. Well, I knew the feeling until I beat it to death with a large stick over the course of a decade.