I think I tend to filter out relatively socially oblivious people from in-person interactions, so I’m probably seeing a wildly different sample from you and that accounts for the difference. I’ll make the weaker claim that low-big, unlike the three other locations on the map, is just not a good place to be in almost any situation.
I’m interpreting high-small to include many self-deprecating/minimizing behaviors made by high-status people (say good teachers and speakers) to seem more approachable/human and make everyone else more comfortable. “Holding space [for someone]” Qiaochu mentions in the other comment is an example of this. My experience is that most people “good at the status game” know how to play (exactly) high-big and high-small.
Indeed “high status” does not imply “good at the status game,” that’s a good point.
I think I tend to filter out relatively socially oblivious people from in-person interactions, so I’m probably seeing a wildly different sample from you and that accounts for the difference. I’ll make the weaker claim that low-big, unlike the three other locations on the map, is just not a good place to be in almost any situation.
I’m interpreting high-small to include many self-deprecating/minimizing behaviors made by high-status people (say good teachers and speakers) to seem more approachable/human and make everyone else more comfortable. “Holding space [for someone]” Qiaochu mentions in the other comment is an example of this. My experience is that most people “good at the status game” know how to play (exactly) high-big and high-small.
Indeed “high status” does not imply “good at the status game,” that’s a good point.