It also helps to dedicate a complete sentence (or multiple sentences if the action you’re apologizing for wasn’t just a minor mistake) to your apology. When apologizing in-person, you can also pause for a bit, giving your conversational partner the opportunity to respond if they want to.
When you immediately switch into the next topic, as in your example apology above, it looks like you’re trying to distract from the fact that you were wrong, and also makes it less likely your conversational partner internalizes that you apologized.
When you immediately switch into the next topic, as in your example apology above, it looks like you’re trying to distract from the fact that you were wrong
Yep. Reminds me of the saying “everything before the word ‘but’ is bullshit”. This is of course not universally true, but it often has a grain of truth. Relatedly, I remember seeing writing advice that went like “keep in mind that the word ‘but’ negates the previous sentence”.
I’ve made a habit of noticing my “but”s in serious contexts. Often I rephrase my point so that the “but” is not needed. This seems especially useful for apologies, as there is more focus on sincerity and reading between lines going on.
It also helps to dedicate a complete sentence (or multiple sentences if the action you’re apologizing for wasn’t just a minor mistake) to your apology. When apologizing in-person, you can also pause for a bit, giving your conversational partner the opportunity to respond if they want to.
When you immediately switch into the next topic, as in your example apology above, it looks like you’re trying to distract from the fact that you were wrong, and also makes it less likely your conversational partner internalizes that you apologized.
Yep. Reminds me of the saying “everything before the word ‘but’ is bullshit”. This is of course not universally true, but it often has a grain of truth. Relatedly, I remember seeing writing advice that went like “keep in mind that the word ‘but’ negates the previous sentence”.
I’ve made a habit of noticing my “but”s in serious contexts. Often I rephrase my point so that the “but” is not needed. This seems especially useful for apologies, as there is more focus on sincerity and reading between lines going on.