I think there’s an aspect to empathy where you not only imagine being in the situation they are in, but also having the values they have. Not just noticing the delta between your own values, but being able to dig past the caricature and understand deeply why they react and feel the way they do (including what sorts of things could plausibly change their mind). It makes you stronger to have it because it means you can better predict and infer people’s motivations and intentions.
This aspect of empathy isn’t necessarily kind either: consider a sadist imagining how best to devastate their victim.
I think there’s an aspect to empathy where you not only imagine being in the situation they are in, but also having the values they have. Not just noticing the delta between your own values, but being able to dig past the caricature and understand deeply why they react and feel the way they do (including what sorts of things could plausibly change their mind). It makes you stronger to have it because it means you can better predict and infer people’s motivations and intentions.
This aspect of empathy isn’t necessarily kind either: consider a sadist imagining how best to devastate their victim.