For both my own thought and in high-trust conversations I have a norm that’s something like “idea generation before content filter” which is designed to allow one to think uncomfortable thoughts (and sometimes say them) before filtering things out. I don’t have this norm for “things I say on the public internet” (or any equivalent norm). I’ll have to think a bit about what norms actually seem good to me here.
I think I can be on board with a norm where one is willing to say rude or uncomfortable things provided they’re (1) valuable to communicate and (2) one makes reasonable efforts to nevertheless protect the social fabric and render the statement receivable to the person to whom it is directed. My vague sense of comments with the “I know this is uncharitable/rude, but [uncharitable/rude thing]” is that more than half of the time I think the caveat insulates the poster from criticism and does not meaningfully protect the social fabric or help the person to whom the comments are directed, but I haven’t read such comments carefully.
In any case, I now think there is at least a good and valid version of this norm that should be distinguished from abuses of the norm.
OK, excellent this is also quite helpful.
For both my own thought and in high-trust conversations I have a norm that’s something like “idea generation before content filter” which is designed to allow one to think uncomfortable thoughts (and sometimes say them) before filtering things out. I don’t have this norm for “things I say on the public internet” (or any equivalent norm). I’ll have to think a bit about what norms actually seem good to me here.
I think I can be on board with a norm where one is willing to say rude or uncomfortable things provided they’re (1) valuable to communicate and (2) one makes reasonable efforts to nevertheless protect the social fabric and render the statement receivable to the person to whom it is directed. My vague sense of comments with the “I know this is uncharitable/rude, but [uncharitable/rude thing]” is that more than half of the time I think the caveat insulates the poster from criticism and does not meaningfully protect the social fabric or help the person to whom the comments are directed, but I haven’t read such comments carefully.
In any case, I now think there is at least a good and valid version of this norm that should be distinguished from abuses of the norm.