I do this, and I want to add that it’s important for the signals you send about broader cooperative ness to be true. If you’re actually curious, actually believe the person you’re talking to is sane and acting in good faith, you can just signal that.
I’ve often found that once I honestly signal curiosity about what the true state of affairs is, and signal I am optimising this conversation in part to be directly useful for them, I’m able to clearly communicate my disagreements about the person’s life decisions and not be taken as a threat or encourage defensiveness.
I do this, and I want to add that it’s important for the signals you send about broader cooperative ness to be true. If you’re actually curious, actually believe the person you’re talking to is sane and acting in good faith, you can just signal that.
I’ve often found that once I honestly signal curiosity about what the true state of affairs is, and signal I am optimising this conversation in part to be directly useful for them, I’m able to clearly communicate my disagreements about the person’s life decisions and not be taken as a threat or encourage defensiveness.