[Question]

with abstractapplic’s tips I decided to rewrite the post, second try:

By Gwern’s request, I’ve been posting my story here in LessWrong, maybe everything to get to that question:

What should I do if I’m in the shit? When I’m drowning in a storm of life with no way out?

Sometimes, I picture myself in a violent sea of uncertainty: drowning, exhausted, with no way out.”

And it turns out this isn’t just an analogy, also scientists use a similar test to study depression in animals. Do you know?>

In that experiment, when the mouse realizes there’s no way out, it stops fighting, and researchers observe how different treatments change that behavior.

As I don’t trust medicines very much and I can’t do genetic improvement: What are your most powerful ideas that could help me when I’m drowning in a storm?

In particular, I tried several medications, but I saw that they diminished my In particular, I tried several medications, but that diminished my decision-making power. I tried several therapies; it seems they generally say unicorn things like: you lost your bus, be your own bus.
I admitted myself. And when I could no longer afford the hospitalization, I told the police I committed a crime I hadn’t committed, because I no longer trusted myself.
I haven’t found any more rational or evolutionary psychologists.
Also, I read SSC: I dedicate myself to a good sleep, meditating and do a lists, but it seems I would need a more complex system to help me.