When you approach someone, include some words to the effect that you’ll gracefwly accept a rejection.
In most social situations outside of some really weird cases, it is no use to add disclaimers or clarifications. Doing this says one or more of
“I’m more worried about rejection than the average person who doesn’t use those words”. Being more worried about rejection than the average person is considered undesirable and itself makes you more likely to be rejected.
(This is true even though the statement claims to say that you are less worried about rejection. Because if you really weren’t worried about rejection, you’d have no reason to say that you aren’t worried about rejection.)
“I don’t understand how to communicate my attitude towards rejection in the normal manner, so I’m doing it in this unusual manner instead”. Not understanding how to communicate is undesirable and makes you more likely to be rejected.
The reason I say that I’m not worried about rejection, is that I am worried about their fear of rejecting. I personally have anxieties about 3 and 4, which makes proclaiming my lack of fear 1 the logical thing to do.
But you make a good point: Some people are likely to misunderstand what I try to communicate, and end up concluding that I actually fear rejection.
In most social situations outside of some really weird cases, it is no use to add disclaimers or clarifications. Doing this says one or more of
“I’m more worried about rejection than the average person who doesn’t use those words”. Being more worried about rejection than the average person is considered undesirable and itself makes you more likely to be rejected.
(This is true even though the statement claims to say that you are less worried about rejection. Because if you really weren’t worried about rejection, you’d have no reason to say that you aren’t worried about rejection.)
“I don’t understand how to communicate my attitude towards rejection in the normal manner, so I’m doing it in this unusual manner instead”. Not understanding how to communicate is undesirable and makes you more likely to be rejected.
The reason I say that I’m not worried about rejection, is that I am worried about their fear of rejecting. I personally have anxieties about 3 and 4, which makes proclaiming my lack of fear 1 the logical thing to do.
But you make a good point: Some people are likely to misunderstand what I try to communicate, and end up concluding that I actually fear rejection.