A few questions, as I find Actual Freedom fascinating and actually meeting a sane practitioner is so rare.
So am I understanding you right that you are essentially replacing your emotional defaults, but you aren’t getting rid of emotions as a whole?
What distinguishes good feelings from felicitous ones? Why do you intent to get rid of compassion, for example? Is this basically an equanimity thing, were you realize that the “good” feelings still have the dukkha characteristic and so hanging out there won’t work (like the A&P), but the other ones don’t?
Another reason I ask is that I suspect that I do not (or only barely) have any of your example good feelings. I never felt I belonged, I don’t have compassion, and even though I experience something I’d call love, it isn’t about other people (long, messy story), so I doubt that’s what most people mean. Are there simpler, not-about-other-people feelings that belong in the good category?
Also, how exactly do you practice? Naively, I’d go into a high jhana, note my emotions and when an unwanted one arises, I’d take it apart (by seeing the three characteristics and enforcing equanimity), otherwise I’d try to solidify it. Is it something like that? I could never really understand the AF descriptions or methods.
If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get the PCE and what are your other attainments, as far as you know?
(If you do have experience with dissociative drugs, I’d love to hear how they relate to AF. There seems to be a special kind of equanimity I can get to through DXM that I can’t reach from the normal jhanas/nanas, but I’m currently having problems navigating the higher territory, so it might not be something special. There’s a distinct lack of emotions and fundamental worry and push/pull just go away. They don’t just become something-to-be-observed-but-not-identified-with as in normal equanimity, but they just… aren’t there. It is so tremendously peaceful. While lots of hardcore dharma folk have been acid heads, I barely know anyone who used dissociatives or even something like ayahuasca. I find this completely mysterious.)
A few questions, as I find Actual Freedom fascinating and actually meeting a sane practitioner is so rare.
So am I understanding you right that you are essentially replacing your emotional defaults, but you aren’t getting rid of emotions as a whole?
What distinguishes good feelings from felicitous ones? Why do you intent to get rid of compassion, for example? Is this basically an equanimity thing, were you realize that the “good” feelings still have the dukkha characteristic and so hanging out there won’t work (like the A&P), but the other ones don’t?
Another reason I ask is that I suspect that I do not (or only barely) have any of your example good feelings. I never felt I belonged, I don’t have compassion, and even though I experience something I’d call love, it isn’t about other people (long, messy story), so I doubt that’s what most people mean. Are there simpler, not-about-other-people feelings that belong in the good category?
Also, how exactly do you practice? Naively, I’d go into a high jhana, note my emotions and when an unwanted one arises, I’d take it apart (by seeing the three characteristics and enforcing equanimity), otherwise I’d try to solidify it. Is it something like that? I could never really understand the AF descriptions or methods.
If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get the PCE and what are your other attainments, as far as you know?
(If you do have experience with dissociative drugs, I’d love to hear how they relate to AF. There seems to be a special kind of equanimity I can get to through DXM that I can’t reach from the normal jhanas/nanas, but I’m currently having problems navigating the higher territory, so it might not be something special. There’s a distinct lack of emotions and fundamental worry and push/pull just go away. They don’t just become something-to-be-observed-but-not-identified-with as in normal equanimity, but they just… aren’t there. It is so tremendously peaceful. While lots of hardcore dharma folk have been acid heads, I barely know anyone who used dissociatives or even something like ayahuasca. I find this completely mysterious.)