Okay, brainstorming how you might handle that sort of situation! (comments, made after brainstorming, in parentheses)
Leave the room. (no fun at all, but a good last resort, especially if you can bring boyfriend with) Start a conversation with a different group of people. Directly and politely state that you think he should stick to claims we don’t have overwhelming evidence against, and if told that criticism is not allowed, say “okay, sorry,” and leave it at that. (this is probably what I’d do first) Start a conversation about tests of the supernatural and the boundaries of knowledge, framed positively. (if there was enough interest) Go “GRaAAh” every time the supernatural is brought up. Perhaps use a spray bottle for negative reinforcement. (if only) Be super sarcastic. (yeah, that’ll work) Be very honest. (a reasonable option—could just say that you feel frustrated when supernaturalism is brought up, because you don’t want to seem critical but he just won’t stop talking about it)
Satire. Create your own complete bullshit that exploits the same ‘no criticism’ rule and start rambling about it.
Dominate the conversation within the rules. Never reply to his supernatural nonsense but instead constantly be changing the subject to something that interests you, something that you know interests the other people in the room or a meme which would undermine the bullshiter’s credibility.
“Leave the room” sounds like the best option here. This Charlie guy had gone out of his way to create a group where he can speak bullshit. You don’t like bullshit. There are no obvious important networking opportunities here. Doesn’t sound like there is anything in it for you. Just leave. Making it obvious that you are registering contempt for the discussion is optional..
Leave the room” sounds like the best option here. This Charlie guy had gone out of his way to create a group where he can speak bullshit. You don’t like bullshit. There are no obvious important networking opportunities here.
This is what will end up happening. I’m almost certainly not going back to that group, even if the theme is on something I find as interesting as physics. Not worth the frustration… It makes me sad, though, because that group is one of many that could be a good match for me, and give me somewhere to apply my hard work and efforts, but someone had to go ruin it by believing in the supernatural.
If you don’t plan on a continued relationship with the group, but feel that there are some like minded people there, there is every reason for you to state your own mind plainly to them. Those who agree may invite you to some other venue more appropriate to both of you, and those who don’t agree will cease to exist in your world very shortly anyway.
It pays to advertise who and what you are, so that those who appreciate you can find you better. Also, being willing to show that you disagree with the group often wins some points with all involved for your self confidence, but particularly with those who wish they had had the courage to have done the same.
This group is an opportunity to be exactly who you want to be without repercussion because you don’t plan on continuing the relationship anyway. What’s the worst that can happen? And what’s the best that can happen?
You could practice. Announce that you want to say something even though you fear it is unpopular or will be poorly received. Then express an opinion you know everyone already shares even though no one has said that explicitly. Warning: this will lower your status.
You could practice. Announce that you want to say something even though you fear it is unpopular or will be poorly received. Then express an opinion you know everyone already shares even though no one has said that explicitly. Warning: this will lower your status.
It may lower your status depending on your initial status and in what manner you speak. It can also be a step up from being someone whose mannerisms convey that they would be too intimidated to do so. Another potential outcome is that of being respected more but liked less.
Okay, brainstorming how you might handle that sort of situation! (comments, made after brainstorming, in parentheses)
Leave the room. (no fun at all, but a good last resort, especially if you can bring boyfriend with)
Start a conversation with a different group of people.
Directly and politely state that you think he should stick to claims we don’t have overwhelming evidence against, and if told that criticism is not allowed, say “okay, sorry,” and leave it at that. (this is probably what I’d do first)
Start a conversation about tests of the supernatural and the boundaries of knowledge, framed positively. (if there was enough interest)
Go “GRaAAh” every time the supernatural is brought up. Perhaps use a spray bottle for negative reinforcement. (if only)
Be super sarcastic. (yeah, that’ll work)
Be very honest. (a reasonable option—could just say that you feel frustrated when supernaturalism is brought up, because you don’t want to seem critical but he just won’t stop talking about it)
To that list I’ll add:
Satire. Create your own complete bullshit that exploits the same ‘no criticism’ rule and start rambling about it.
Dominate the conversation within the rules. Never reply to his supernatural nonsense but instead constantly be changing the subject to something that interests you, something that you know interests the other people in the room or a meme which would undermine the bullshiter’s credibility.
“Leave the room” sounds like the best option here. This Charlie guy had gone out of his way to create a group where he can speak bullshit. You don’t like bullshit. There are no obvious important networking opportunities here. Doesn’t sound like there is anything in it for you. Just leave. Making it obvious that you are registering contempt for the discussion is optional..
This is what will end up happening. I’m almost certainly not going back to that group, even if the theme is on something I find as interesting as physics. Not worth the frustration… It makes me sad, though, because that group is one of many that could be a good match for me, and give me somewhere to apply my hard work and efforts, but someone had to go ruin it by believing in the supernatural.
If you don’t plan on a continued relationship with the group, but feel that there are some like minded people there, there is every reason for you to state your own mind plainly to them. Those who agree may invite you to some other venue more appropriate to both of you, and those who don’t agree will cease to exist in your world very shortly anyway.
It pays to advertise who and what you are, so that those who appreciate you can find you better. Also, being willing to show that you disagree with the group often wins some points with all involved for your self confidence, but particularly with those who wish they had had the courage to have done the same.
Someday I will acquire the self-confidence to disagree with the group publicly… Someday.
Why not let Someday be Today?
This group is an opportunity to be exactly who you want to be without repercussion because you don’t plan on continuing the relationship anyway. What’s the worst that can happen? And what’s the best that can happen?
You could practice. Announce that you want to say something even though you fear it is unpopular or will be poorly received. Then express an opinion you know everyone already shares even though no one has said that explicitly. Warning: this will lower your status.
It may lower your status depending on your initial status and in what manner you speak. It can also be a step up from being someone whose mannerisms convey that they would be too intimidated to do so. Another potential outcome is that of being respected more but liked less.
And I’d add:
Talk about how interested you are in the scientific method, and hey, maybe we could even put some of those supernatural claims to the test!