I think if you program yourself thoroughly enough with the idea that you are a judge of the evidence (like Ferris in this story), instead of being a soldier, you can change your mind in an argument without status loss. As soon as you start acting just a tiny bit like a soldier, defending one position and attacking another, you are going to feel pressure to do it more and more. You want to stop the cycle before it starts. If your friend introduces some new evidence or argument you’re unfamiliar with, say “that seems plausible”, and adjust your degree of belief in response to the argument immediately. You don’t lose status because you just weren’t aware of the argument.
Another idea is to work on learning to use phrases like “that seems plausible”, “I could see that”, “all right, I gotcha, [restate or extend opponent’s last statement here]”, etc. that let you change your public position without losing status.
I think if you program yourself thoroughly enough with the idea that you are a judge of the evidence (like Ferris in this story), instead of being a soldier, you can change your mind in an argument without status loss. As soon as you start acting just a tiny bit like a soldier, defending one position and attacking another, you are going to feel pressure to do it more and more. You want to stop the cycle before it starts. If your friend introduces some new evidence or argument you’re unfamiliar with, say “that seems plausible”, and adjust your degree of belief in response to the argument immediately. You don’t lose status because you just weren’t aware of the argument.
Another idea is to work on learning to use phrases like “that seems plausible”, “I could see that”, “all right, I gotcha, [restate or extend opponent’s last statement here]”, etc. that let you change your public position without losing status.