I’m pretty surprised at Guzey’s tone in responding; even this last response starting with an apology makes arguments that suggest argument motivated by some sort of psychological trigger rather than rational consideration.
I don’t know if this generalizes, but my experience with tone is that it’s mostly unintentional. There’ve been many instances where I’ve written something that seemed perfectly appropriate to me at the time, only to be horrified at how sound when I read it a month later (and the result pattern-matches to guzey’s comment). It also does not require a psychological trigger, it just happens by default when arguing with someone in text form (and it happens more easily when it’s about something status-related like who made better arguments). Took a lot of deliberate effort to change the default to sounding respectful.
I agree that it’s bad enough to be worth mentioning, but I’d be quite surprised if it’s the result of a strategic effort rather than of an unconscious signaling-related instinct.
I’ve found that I’ve lessened this experience of reading something I’ve wrote and being horrified at its tone by going back and reading my comments at various sites. At least once a year I find myself going to my profile page at LW or some other site and just spending a couple of hours reading what I’ve wrote in the past. I think this has helped me be more aware of what my tone is conveying.
I don’t know if this generalizes, but my experience with tone is that it’s mostly unintentional. There’ve been many instances where I’ve written something that seemed perfectly appropriate to me at the time, only to be horrified at how sound when I read it a month later (and the result pattern-matches to guzey’s comment). It also does not require a psychological trigger, it just happens by default when arguing with someone in text form (and it happens more easily when it’s about something status-related like who made better arguments). Took a lot of deliberate effort to change the default to sounding respectful.
I agree that it’s bad enough to be worth mentioning, but I’d be quite surprised if it’s the result of a strategic effort rather than of an unconscious signaling-related instinct.
I agree with you.
I’ve found that I’ve lessened this experience of reading something I’ve wrote and being horrified at its tone by going back and reading my comments at various sites. At least once a year I find myself going to my profile page at LW or some other site and just spending a couple of hours reading what I’ve wrote in the past. I think this has helped me be more aware of what my tone is conveying.