This sort of concealment seems extremely common, but also like in some cases it could be a Chesterton’s Fence of sorts. I’m thinking of this:
Yet that’s how life happens sometimes: you can have all the pieces, and not put them together because nobody gave you the word. I’ve had friends who took years to realize their Grampaw wasn’t allowed to be alone with them because he was a pederast. I’ve known folks who didn’t realize their parents were swingers despite copious evidence because it never occurred to them their parents could be swingers.
In the pederast Grampaw case, maybe it does the kid more good to not perceive their environment as full of threats? Though on the other hand this kind of concealment leads to underestimating the base rate of such things. It seems like at some point a frank discussion of the thing should happen.
In the swingers case, concealment might be easier for young kids than teaching them exactly how to navigate the social stigma around unconventional sexual practices, and ironically let them be more open than if they have to navigate where their parents are “out.” (On the other hand, the parents might just have not made a big deal of the thing, leading their child to not associate it with a thing people make a big deal of, which seems good in a way unrelated to concealment.)
This sort of concealment seems extremely common, but also like in some cases it could be a Chesterton’s Fence of sorts. I’m thinking of this:
In the pederast Grampaw case, maybe it does the kid more good to not perceive their environment as full of threats? Though on the other hand this kind of concealment leads to underestimating the base rate of such things. It seems like at some point a frank discussion of the thing should happen.
In the swingers case, concealment might be easier for young kids than teaching them exactly how to navigate the social stigma around unconventional sexual practices, and ironically let them be more open than if they have to navigate where their parents are “out.” (On the other hand, the parents might just have not made a big deal of the thing, leading their child to not associate it with a thing people make a big deal of, which seems good in a way unrelated to concealment.)