I find it surprising that answers to the question about making your parents proud are so low in so many northern European countries. I would obviously answer the question “yes”. Important to note that they’re not asking if it’s your primary goal or your only goal, only if it’s one of your major goals, and that seems like a much lower bar. In particular, that goal seems entirely synergistic with other widespread goals such as having a good marriage and career.
I would expect that this only gets answered “no” if (a) you have a very bad relationship with your parents, with a very significant clash of values, or (b) if the target for “pleasing parents” is excessively narrow, e.g. they will only accept you going into one particular occupation that you don’t like. And these are both things that do happen, but they can’t be that common, can they?
Well, I’ll give you some context. I am Scandinavian, and inclined to answer “no”. Here’s why:
Making my parents proud does not really feel like one of my main goals. I care about having a loving relationship with my parents, and I care about my parents being healthy, happy etc. I know they are proud of me, but it doesn’t feel like an important goal in itself.
Note: They do have very similar values and we’re all generally happy with the relationship.
Also, they don’t have any narrow standards for being pleased, rather the opposite. Like, I have different views on politics and have made some life decisions they’d disprefer—but they are overall chill about that and don’t really pressure me to adopt their views and preferred choices.
I suspect actually parents being less controlling of their kids in Scandinavia may be related to the lower emphasis on “making your parents proud”.
Oh, that’s a REALLY interesting point. I’m Scandinavian in heritage, though a number of generations in Canada and the US, and I also would answer “no”. Not because it’s unimportant, but because I already have it, and it was never really in question.
You don’t care what your parents (or anyone else) thinks (a fairly common feeling among Autism Spectrum folx)
You are focused on one or two important things (goal: get a promotion / get an A in this class / etc.), and nebulous “make my parents proud” things aren’t as important.
You interpret the question as referring to both or all your parents, but one or more of the previously mentioned reasons apply to some of your parents, so while you might want to make “my mom” proud, that doesn’t apply to “my dad” or “my stepmom” and therefore you don’t consider “my parents” a unified entity.
I find it surprising that answers to the question about making your parents proud are so low in so many northern European countries. I would obviously answer the question “yes”. Important to note that they’re not asking if it’s your primary goal or your only goal, only if it’s one of your major goals, and that seems like a much lower bar. In particular, that goal seems entirely synergistic with other widespread goals such as having a good marriage and career.
I would expect that this only gets answered “no” if (a) you have a very bad relationship with your parents, with a very significant clash of values, or (b) if the target for “pleasing parents” is excessively narrow, e.g. they will only accept you going into one particular occupation that you don’t like. And these are both things that do happen, but they can’t be that common, can they?
Well, I’ll give you some context. I am Scandinavian, and inclined to answer “no”. Here’s why:
Making my parents proud does not really feel like one of my main goals. I care about having a loving relationship with my parents, and I care about my parents being healthy, happy etc. I know they are proud of me, but it doesn’t feel like an important goal in itself.
Note: They do have very similar values and we’re all generally happy with the relationship.
Also, they don’t have any narrow standards for being pleased, rather the opposite. Like, I have different views on politics and have made some life decisions they’d disprefer—but they are overall chill about that and don’t really pressure me to adopt their views and preferred choices.
I suspect actually parents being less controlling of their kids in Scandinavia may be related to the lower emphasis on “making your parents proud”.
Oh, that’s a REALLY interesting point. I’m Scandinavian in heritage, though a number of generations in Canada and the US, and I also would answer “no”. Not because it’s unimportant, but because I already have it, and it was never really in question.
You could also say “no” if:
You don’t have “goals in life”
Your parents are dead
You don’t care what your parents (or anyone else) thinks (a fairly common feeling among Autism Spectrum folx)
You are focused on one or two important things (goal: get a promotion / get an A in this class / etc.), and nebulous “make my parents proud” things aren’t as important.
You interpret the question as referring to both or all your parents, but one or more of the previously mentioned reasons apply to some of your parents, so while you might want to make “my mom” proud, that doesn’t apply to “my dad” or “my stepmom” and therefore you don’t consider “my parents” a unified entity.