The most important claim here is that the thing that passes for friendship these days, among most people in your target audience, is best thought of not as a irreplaceable human relationship, or perhaps one of many ties to a richly embedded community, but an asset in a portfolio.
It can be helpful to have that, but it implies a pretty awful world in a lot of other ways, and I’m very sad to see advice about how to get along in that world that doesn’t even mention the possibility of trying to make things better.
The title is mostly like that because it’s funny. I strongly believe that people should cultivate closer friendships than is the default in modern society—but I also believe one shouldn’t put “all their eggs in one basket” in terms of who all you cultivate those friendships with.
I didn’t know how to write this comment, thx for saying it. The nearest I could come up with was imagining the OP recommending picking your 2-3 cofounders for a tech startup to optimise for diverse backgrounds. Actually the key things are people you are able to communicate with excellently, people who you’ve gone through high-pressure experiences with in the past, and people you’re actively excited about working with.
I think there is a very real argument that it’s good to spend time in multiple communities and probably also have long-lasting identities in such communities, which helps get perspective on your life’s stresses. But I reacted negatively to the phrasing about picking the people I’m close to with some randomness.
The most important claim here is that the thing that passes for friendship these days, among most people in your target audience, is best thought of not as a irreplaceable human relationship, or perhaps one of many ties to a richly embedded community, but an asset in a portfolio.
It can be helpful to have that, but it implies a pretty awful world in a lot of other ways, and I’m very sad to see advice about how to get along in that world that doesn’t even mention the possibility of trying to make things better.
The title is mostly like that because it’s funny. I strongly believe that people should cultivate closer friendships than is the default in modern society—but I also believe one shouldn’t put “all their eggs in one basket” in terms of who all you cultivate those friendships with.
+1
I didn’t know how to write this comment, thx for saying it. The nearest I could come up with was imagining the OP recommending picking your 2-3 cofounders for a tech startup to optimise for diverse backgrounds. Actually the key things are people you are able to communicate with excellently, people who you’ve gone through high-pressure experiences with in the past, and people you’re actively excited about working with.
I think there is a very real argument that it’s good to spend time in multiple communities and probably also have long-lasting identities in such communities, which helps get perspective on your life’s stresses. But I reacted negatively to the phrasing about picking the people I’m close to with some randomness.